


The Journey Home

by h34rt1lly (LILYisatig3r), LILYisatig3r



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: F/M, Final Fantasy 8 - Freeform, Final Fantasy VIII - Freeform, Finding that place where you belong, Hurt/Comfort, It was always you - Freeform, Romance, ff8 - Freeform, ffviii - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-17 18:02:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3538913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LILYisatig3r/pseuds/h34rt1lly, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LILYisatig3r/pseuds/LILYisatig3r
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Ultimecia is defeated, with nowhere else to go, Seifer and the gang return to Balamb. Now that he no longer has a purpose in life, Seifer's journey to find a place where he belongs is coming to a close. What if the place he's searching for to call home has been with him the entire time? Inspired by Maroon 5's It Was Always You & Coming Back For You. Rated M for strong language, violence and suggestive themes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is heavily inspired by Maroon 5's It Was Always You and Coming Back For You, from their 'V' album. I pretty much have those two songs on repeat the entire time I write new chapters. Of course, the OST makes for great listening material as well. I really hope you guys enjoy this story, because I absolutely love writing it. The first few chapters will be lemon-free, as their relationship is kind of a slow burn. I promise it's worth it though.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta, Arenoptara, and StormyMonday for helping me with second revisions.
> 
> Final Fantasy VIII and all of its environments, characters, etc., belong to Square-Enix (then Squaresoft). As much as I wish they were mine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It hits home that Seifer is lost, without a purpose in life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4/9/15: I've revised chapters one and two, and they've been updated to reflect the changes. I felt like my writing style has evolved drastically between those chapters, and chapters three to five. There were no plot changes, I just added a few descriptive things and edited here and there. I think it flows a little better :)

_Plunk._

_Plunk._

_Plunk._

Every time a rock sunk to the abyss below the surface, the water rippled outwards.

 _Plunk_.

_Plunk._

Seifer sighed deeply. He was bored out of his mind.

His legs swung casually over the edge of the pier as he picked up the last rock next to him, and tossed it as far as he could. When it too, sank into the depths of the ocean, he stood and paced back along the length of the pier, towards town. The heavy soles of his boots pounded on the wooden slats that made up the pier as the sun began to set, casting a warm, pink glow across everything he could see. When the wooden pier ended, it became the cobblestone streets that Balamb's inhabitants were so fond of. He looked up from watching his black boots on the white stones, the contrast as stark as good and evil.

Fujin and Raijin waited patiently at the entrance to the dock area for him-Raijin was waving his hand through the air in a wide arc, and Fujin was standing still, with her arms hanging loosely at her sides. A small smile spread across Seifer's face and he picked up his pace, striding over to them swiftly.

 _Some things never change_ , he thought fondly to himself.

When he finally approached them, Fujin asked, "HUNGRY?"

Because of the way she spoke, she had to raise her tone of voice to imply that she was asking a question. Of course by now, Seifer and Raijin were fully accustomed to her little quirk that most people found unusual and off-putting.

He nodded, and his companions turned, hiking back with him into town. After they rounded the corner from the dock, the hotel's shadow fell across their path. The double doors that marked the hotel's entrance were closed, and they sauntered over to them, letting themselves into the lobby.

Nothing much had changed since they'd been there last: the same large rug sat in the middle of the room, the view out of the arches in the wall was still of the ocean, and the giant copper rings in the ceiling that led up to the crystal light fixture were still there. The hotel had added a small, cozy restaurant to the left of the stairs recently to accommodate the influx of tourists to the town, but other than that, everything was as Seifer remembered.

They trailed into the empty restaurant, sitting down at their regular table by the window. Somehow this had become part of their daily routine. They woke up relatively early in the morning, made their way down to breakfast, and then went about their day. Sometimes they did things together, other times they wandered off separately. They'd meet back up at the restaurant once the sun started setting and have a late dinner, then head up to bed. Routines were safe, comfortable, and most of all, predictable-the posse needed predictability.

With it being so close to nightfall, the restaurant's crowd had begun to thin out, allowing for a more relaxed atmosphere. Seifer picked up his chair and angled it to face out the window, so he could look out at the ocean. Even though he wasn't great at skipping rocks or fishing, as they'd discovered somewhat recently, staring out at the waves calmed his thoughts.

It had been a little over two months since SeeD had defeated Ultimecia, and restored peace to the world, and perhaps three or four since he had fallen from the good graces of the public's opinion. Now that he thought about it, he'd never even had their good opinion. They'd traveled around to various cities afterwards, hoping to find a place they would be welcome. Everywhere they turned though, people shunned him.

Most didn't remember Fujin and Raijin since their presence had been pretty limited, but  _everyone_  remembered Seifer. Everyone remembered the man who had threatened President Deling, who had joined forces with Ultimecia, who had unleashed Lunatic Pandora, and had wreaked havoc upon them all.

So somehow, a couple weeks ago, they'd ended up back in Balamb, back where it all began. Ironic, how life did that to people. Sadly, even the people in Balamb weren't any better. It wasn't as if he'd expected them to welcome him with open arms and a place at their kitchen tables. Hell, he'd even expected unmasked hostility like he had in Timber or Deling. Instead, everyone gave him  _too_  wide of a berth. They all went out of their way to avoid speaking to him, or coming into contact with him.

At first, it'd been a nice change. But now, he'd take a simple 'hello'.

After a brief wait, a waitress approached their table, which surprised Seifer. The wait staff just brought out what they always ordered. The hotel staff appreciated that because it meant they wouldn't have to ask what they wanted ever again.

 _She must be new_ , he thought curiously.

A strand of chestnut brown hair fell out of her ponytail, and she tucked it behind her ear, as her eyes darted between the three.

"Can I take your order?"

Her voice was far more confident than she appeared and Seifer was surprised. Fujin raised a silver eyebrow at the girl, while Raijin leaned over the table to tell her, rather loudly, "We'll have what we always have, ya know?"

The girl shuffled in place and said timidly, "Sorry, I'm new. I just started today."

Seifer studied her intently, trying to place her face in his memory.

"New, huh? It's not every day you see new staff around here."

Most, if not all, of the businesses in Balamb were owned by the locals. Outsiders were rarely hired, let alone found within the town limits. If they were part of the military or private organizations, like Gardens, they didn't stay for very long.

She turned to face Seifer, her hazel eyes reflecting the sun's rays. She shook her head and explained, "I'm not exactly new to town, just to working at the hotel."

He nodded, not particularly caring for the details, and waved his hand towards Fujin and Raijin. "This guy always gets the seafood soup, she always gets seafood alfredo. Personally, I prefer the Balamb Fish special."

Jotting it all down on a little notepad, she looked back up. "And to drink?"

"WATER."

"I'll have a light beer, ya know?"

She looked at Seifer expectantly and he replied, "I always have a whiskey on the rocks with dinner."

She closed her notepad with a snap and nodded, strolling over to the podium at the front of the restaurant. She tapped on the computer's screen and entered a few items, then turned and left the room. A few minutes later, she walked back in with a tray that held their drinks and set them down on the table in front of them, disappearing into the kitchen afterwards.

Seifer picked up his glass, twirling it so that his ice cubes clinked together. The translucent blocks of frozen water drifted around in his cup as he pondered the waitress' behavior. People were normally hesitant to speak to them, but she was different-one of the first to act that way. It was a nice change and he decided she was his new favorite waitress.

He turned back to the window and looked outside once again, as he took the first sip of his whiskey, relishing in the harsh burn that trickled down his throat. He leaned back in his chair, the wicker material creaking. The sun had finally set and the sky was a navy blue, clear enough to see the stars. Since Balamb was such a small town, there were hardly any lights that detracted from star-gazing.

Not that Seifer would ever admit he often star gazed.

A few minutes later, the waitress came back with their food. After placing their orders in front of them, she wiped her hands on the apron around her waist and asked, "Is there anything else I can get you guys?"

Seifer silently shook his head, and she went to close their ticket, bringing it back and placing it face down on the table. He thanked her softly and she went to stand by the podium. The group ate in companionable silence as the minutes ticked by. By now, the entire restaurant had emptied.

Fujin and Raijin stood after finishing their food, and turned to leave. Pausing, Fujin looked back at Seifer and said, "BED."

He leaned back in his chair again, twirling his nearly empty glass of whiskey once more, out of habit. He glanced up at Fujin and said, "I'll be up in a few."

She turned to Raijin and they nodded once at each other, before they turned and left the dining room, the doors swinging after them. The waitress peered over her shoulder at Seifer, turned back to face the doors, then looked back over her shoulder at him once again.

He took another sip as he watched her walk towards his table.

"Are you...going to be staying for awhile?" she asked quietly.

He tilted his head up at her and said irritatedly, "Maybe. I'm enjoying my drink, for now. Why, do you  _want_ me to go?"

She shook her head quickly as if worried she'd offended him. "No, you can stay. I was just wondering. I can't close up until the last customer leaves, so..."

Seifer stood quickly and downed the rest of his whiskey, slamming the glass back down on the table. Annoyed that it seemed like she was hinting for him to get out of there, he pulled fifty Gil out of his pocket and tossed it onto the table. He brushed past the waitress, heading to the doors, but she grabbed his coat sleeve, lightly tugging on it. In a panicked tone, she said, "You really don't have to leave, it's fine. I didn't mean for it to sound like I wanted you to leave right  _now_."

He looked down on her and spat out bitterly, "Don't worry, I'm used to people not wanting me around."

He wrenched his coat out of her hand and stalked out of the restaurant, shoving the swinging doors open. When they came back around to smack him in the sides as he was passing through the doorway, he swore and stomped up the stairs to the rooms.

The only indication that he'd been there at all, other than the plates on the table, was the swinging motion of the doors, as they squeaked to a stop.

Upstairs, Seifer briskly walked down the hall to his hotel room. He fumbled in his pocket for his wallet and quickly pulled his room key out, jamming it into the slot. Since he was so worked up, he kept pulling the card out too quickly and the door kept rejecting the key-card. His boot came into contact with the door rather emphatically as he yelled, "God damn it!"

The adjacent door opened and Fujin stepped out into the hall. She stood there, wordlessly watching him fight with the door for a moment. After a few more of his unsuccessful attempts at opening the door, she finally walked over and took the card from Seifer.

"STOP," she instructed firmly.

Calmly, she inserted the key, giving it a moment to read, and when the light lit up green, she smoothly pulled the key back out. She turned the handle and pushed the door open for him. Seifer stuck his boot in the doorway to prop it open.

In a quiet voice, Fujin asked, "TALK?"

Seifer shook his head vehemently, implying that he didn't want to discuss it at the moment. In contrast, he opened his mouth and furiously said, "I'm just sick of people treating us like garbage."

Fujin shook her head in disagreement and laid her hand gently on Seifer's forearm.

"SCARED."

He ran his gloved hand through his hair, causing it to part in grooves, and sighed.

"I know they're scared of us, of me. But that's what makes it so bad. I know I messed up, I do. But what the hell are we supposed to do now? Where are we supposed to go?"

Fujin was silent, her uncovered eye concentrated on him.

"TOGETHER," she whispered.

Seifer looked up, meeting her stormy gaze. He held it and muttered, "Yeah, we stick together, I know. Go to bed, I'll see you in the morning."

He walked into his room and shut his door quietly. After a moment, he heard Fujin's door close as well and he leaned against the wall, sliding down onto the floor.

Seifer sat in the darkness, lost in his thoughts.

He was only eighteen, almost nineteen, and still had his entire life ahead of him, or at least he did at one point. Now, what was left? He could never be a SeeD, not after what he'd done.

He supposed he could become a freelance mercenary but wasn't sure if that was a path he wanted to continue on. Would the three of them just fish their days away in Balamb, no cause to guide them, never belonging anywhere, or having anyone care whether they came or went?

Seifer bowed his head, resting his forehead on his knee. He let out a long and tense sigh, his shoulders sagging from the realization that he had run out of options.

_What now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I promise it picks up, so stick with me. Let me know if you liked it, in the comment box below ^_^ Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seifer and Fujin butt heads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4/9/15: This chapter has been updated to reflect some stylistic changes. There are more changes to this than the first chapter, as well as a slightly different ending. Same idea, different execution.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter too.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta, Arenoptara, and to you, my readers.

Seifer woke the next morning, considerably less depressed and significantly more motivated. He'd never been one to sit and wallow in self-pity; last night was the exception. If he didn't get off his ass and try to kick-start his life, then it sure as hell wasn't going to go anywhere.

After downing some much needed coffee at the hotel's restaurant, he was standing just in front of Balamb's front gate, a few hours after dawn. His foot tapped impatiently against the white bricks that made up the plaza's groundwork. Fujin and Raijin were supposed to meet him here after they ate, but they still hadn't shown.

He pulled his black leather gloves out of his coat pocket and slid them on, reaching for Hyperion, which he'd propped up against the wall. Deciding that the duo could just catch up to him later, he walked under the archway and nodded at the rental station attendant on his way out. Just because they didn't like him, didn't mean he couldn't _try_  to be polite, right?

The attendant turned away from Seifer quickly and pulled down the curtain, hiding himself from Seifer's view. Seifer scoffed and glared at the window, a spike of hot anger running through him at the man's instant dismissal.

_Whatever, he wasn't worth my time anyway,_  he thought bitterly.

He strolled leisurely along the asphalt road that led away from the entrance of the town, admiring the view. Balamb had always been beautiful. Even when he'd been an immature youth, skipping classes at Garden, he'd been able to appreciate the sights. The instructors assumed he left to do inappropriate things, but more often than not, he went to the beach and just watched the waves crash against the sand.

The smell of rolling meadows and a light hint of flowers tickled his nose. It was slightly tainted by the sharp, salty scent of the ocean. If Seifer could bottle it up and sell it as a candle, he'd do it in a heartbeat; except he didn't want people knowing he was  _that_  fond of where he'd spent the majority of his childhood.

When he was about halfway to the immense forest that lined the entrance to the Fire Cave, the sound of rapid footsteps reached his ears. They gradually increased in volume from behind him and he finally turned, spotting Raijin sprinting after him.

"Seifer, wait up, ya know?!" Raijin shouted frantically, his arms flailing through the air as he ran.

Seifer paused and noticed Fujin was just behind Raijin, also heading his way, but at a much more laid-back pace. He chuckled at the stark differences in their personalities and jabbed Hyperion into the ground, its sharp tip sinking into the grass. He leaned against the handle and crossed his arms over his chest, watching as they neared.

Raijin finally caught up and rested his hands on his knees, bent over as he caught his breath. Fujin arrived few minutes later and nodded curtly at Seifer.

"TRAIN?" she asked.

Seifer pulled Hyperion out of the ground and lifted it, pointing the tip at the forest in the distance.

"Kind of. We're running low on Gil so I thought we could go kill some stuff to grab some parts to sell to the junk shop," he explained.

Still panting, Raijin looked up at Seifer and asked, "Why didn't you wait for us, ya know?"

"I  _did_ ," Seifer said, as he shrugged nonchalantly and continued walking towards the forest.

A light breeze started up and he breathed in again. The scent of grass and flowers was now replaced with the fresh mossy aroma from the forest and the ocean's salty undercurrent was much stronger on this side of the island. It had always smelled more like this at Garden and it brought back memories that he was surprised were untainted by bitterness, for the first time in awhile.

Though he'd told them he'd be by the gate this morning, he left early because he was sick of waiting-but also because he had wanted time to himself, to sort through his thoughts. Sure, he'd woken up in a considerably improved mood, but his concern over their situation last night had been valid. In addition to figuring out a game plan, he needed to confront his own emotions about everything that had happened a few months ago. It pissed him off that the past kept haunting him.

Not feeling in the mood to sift through his problems right now, Seifer picked up the pace and practically began to power walk to the forest. When Raijin saw that Seifer had sped up, he tried to run after him but Fujin laid her hand on his arm. He looked back and forth from Fujin to Seifer's back, confused as to why she'd stopped him.

"ALONE," she said sternly.

They came to a standstill, watching Seifer race towards the forest, lost in his thoughts. Fujin stared after him, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. Seifer had been...different since the end of recent events. He tended to lapse into moments of silence more often, and there were times where he'd check out of conversations altogether. Raijin would try to spark his interest by changing the subject, and Fujin would even order the Balamb Fish special instead of her usual alfredo and try to pass it on to him. None of it worked. When Seifer fell into one of his moods, it was impossible to pull him out of them-and that was what worried Fujin so much.

Up ahead, Seifer chopped at the underbrush in the outskirts of the forest, fighting to make his way deeper into the heart of the trees. A giant frond leaf swung in front of him and smacked him in the face, and he brushed it away with a scowl. He stepped over a few broken branches and finally came into an empty clearing. Well, empty except for the massive T-Rexaur that stood right in front of him, its face turned up towards the sun.

Seifer smirked and ran his hand along Hyperion's sharp edge, his muscles tensing in anticipation and tingles of excitement spreading through him. Nothing beat a little bit of battle therapy. Sure, he could talk about his emotions but this was  _so_  much better.

He rushed into the open area, letting out an exuberant shout, and the T-Rexaur roared in surprise as it turned to face him. He lifted his hand and flames began to surround it as he channeled a Firaga spell. As he ran and slid underneath the T-Rexaur, he unleashed the spell and it hit the creature right in the stomach.

It reared up, howling in pain. Seifer launched himself to his feet, now standing behind the T-Rexaur. It flipped around clumsily and charged at him, and Seifer smiled wickedly, rolling to the side and slicing into its thigh with Hyperion as it passed him by. Its leg buckled and its entire body fell sideways to the ground.

He stalked slowly towards the weakened T-Rexaur and began to cast Blizzaga, tiny snowflakes and ice crystals forming in the air around his hand. His chest heaved up and down as he stepped closer, and his smile had turned into something far more sinister. Seifer knew this battle was at an end, but not for him.

The T-Rexaur swung its massive gaze up to focus on Seifer and he paused, feeling an unknown emotion run through him when he met its eyes. He lowered his hand, the spell forgotten and the ice dissipated.

A moment passed where the T-Rexaur and Seifer simply stared at one another. The monster seemed to accept its fate but for some reason, Seifer hesitated. He didn't know whether it was regret over the fact that he'd chosen to kill an innocent being for no reason, even though it had never bothered him before. He knew this was how the world worked, understood it better than most. It was survival of the fittest and he had proven that he was better than the T-Rexaur.

If that were the case though, why did he feel so...upset? His lip curled in distaste at the sudden rush of  _feelings_ , and he immediately chain-cast Blizzaga on the beast, relishing in its dying cries. Even though he knew the battle was over, and the T-Rexaur was dead, he picked up Hyperion and slashed into the beast repeatedly, in an attempt to rid himself of the emotions he didn't understand.

A few minutes later, Fujin and Raijin rushed into the clearing behind him and Fujin yelled for him to stop. He was so in the zone, he didn't even register their presence.

Raijin shouted, "Seifer, you've gotta cut it out, ya know?!"

Fujin rushed forward and yanked back on Seifer's shoulder, bringing him back to reality.

Drained-both emotionally and physically-Seifer collapsed onto the dirt, Hyperion flat on the ground beside him. Raijin stared at the T-Rexaur's mangled body in shock. He peered down at Seifer and said quietly, "That was overboard, ya know? What happened?"

Fujin gently placed her hand on Seifer's shoulder and he brushed it aside harshly, avoiding her eye. For a brief moment, hurt flashed across her face and then her expression became impassive again. She stiffly walked over and stood by the T-Rexaur's corpse, her back facing them.

"Well, I'll grab any materials we can sell to the shop, ya know?" Raijin said quickly, and jogged over to stand next to Fujin, speaking to her under his breath.

Seifer couldn't hear what they were talking about and right in that moment, he didn't particularly care either. When Fujin nodded slightly in response to something Raijin had asked, Raijin bent down to start sifting through the carcass for materials they could sell. Fujin pivoted swiftly and stalked back towards Seifer.

She stopped in front of him and glared at him fiercely, her eyepatch making her expression even more brutal. When she just stood there and didn't say anything, Seifer stared up her, his gaze piercing into her one visible eye.

"What?!" he snapped.

Her eye narrowed and the glare intensified, if that were even possible.

"IDIOT," she spat out and angrily trudged past him, crashing back through the forest.

He scoffed in annoyance and got to his feet, pacing in circles in the clearing. Raijin turned to watch him and when Seifer didn't stop within a few minutes, he stood and crossed his arms. Seifer glanced towards him and came to a halt, daring Raijin to say something.

Raijin spoke hesitantly, trying not to antagonize Seifer further. "I only say this 'cuz I'm your friend, ya know? But Fujin's been worried about you for awhile now. You've been acting different, ya know?"

Seifer grunted in resentment and turned his back on Raijin, heading out of the forest. "Well, you both need to mind your own god damn business. I'm fine."

As he stomped back towards town, he happened to glance at Balamb Garden out of the corner of his eye, and slowly came to a stop. The massive golden ring that kept Garden afloat, rotated continuously. the slow pace bringing Seifer's mood back down to normal. The anger and resentment drifted away from him and he sighed heavily. Now that his mind was clear again, he felt bad for lashing out at Raijin and Fujin like he had.

He sighed again and pulled his glove off, running his hand across his face. Instead of continuing on the road to town, he turned and started walking in the direction of the beach. When the blades of grass started receding and intermingled with the beige grains of sand, his boots started to sink, which made it more difficult to walk.

As he trekked through the thick terrain, he could hear the waves as he neared the shoreline and the instantly recognizable sound calmed him even more. He felt peaceful, whole. Even though he couldn't explain  _why_  the sounds of the ocean soothed him, it was for that reason that he was constantly on the pier at Balamb's docks.

He groaned as he lowered himself onto the sand, and stretched his legs out in front of him, tossing Hyperion out of the way. The sound of the waves enveloped him and he exhaled, frustrated with his own behavior. He'd been acting like a pouty child recently. Of course he'd be the first to admit that when things went south and didn't end up in his favor, he'd been disappointed. He'd banked all of his hopes and dreams on Ultimecia and when it fell through, he was the one who suffered the most.

Well, and all the people he might have screwed over along the way.

Yes, it may have been his own fault, but that didn't mean he couldn't be upset about it. So lately, he'd been hung up thinking about what he could've done differently or not done at all. Had that really been him acting differently? Apparently Fujin thought so, and she  _did_  know him pretty damn well.

Hours passed unbeknownst to Seifer, and the sun moved from its zenith in the sky to rest low on the horizon. Its clear blue shade had turned into a burnished rose, highlighted with what little golden rays of light remained, and streaked through with lavender from the impending sunset. Another day was almost over. Seagulls cawed and flew overhead, in the direction of the town for the night, in the hopes of scavenging for food.

Seifer had been on the beach, lost in his thoughts, for longer than he'd realized. Lazily, he stood and bent over to pick up Hyperion, brushing sand off of its hilt. He looked back at the ocean once more, and finally hiked up the beach, back towards town.

His boots seemed even heavier than before and he stumbled back to the road, fighting to keep his feet on the surface of the sand. When he finally reached the road, he stomped them, trying to dislodge the fine grains from the soles of his shoes.

As he made his way back to Balamb, he came to terms with the fact that he'd probably need to apologize to Fujin and Raijin. Judging by the time of the day, they should both be in the restaurant at the hotel, waiting for him to return. He passed under the arch and glanced towards the station attendant's window, again out of habit.

The man turned from him once more and completely faced the opposite direction. Seifer was surprised he hadn't just closed up shop to avoid seeing him again, since he was sure the man knew that he'd be back.

Instead of feeling angry like he had before, Seifer just felt taciturn. He knew the townspeople didn't like him. He knew no one liked him. It was pointless to keep thinking their attitudes towards him would change. That also meant that he seriously needed to say sorry to Fujin and Raijin sooner rather than later. Having the whole world hate your guts sucked, but at least he always had those two.

As he reached the hotel, the sun finally set and night fell around him. Streetlights blinked to life and the junk shop's porch light flickered on as he passed by. He looked ahead at the hotel and saw that new waitress serving Fujin and Raijin through the window.

They hadn't waited for him. They usually  _always_  waited for him.

His face scrunched up and he pushed through the hotel's double doors, a little harsher than necessary, hastily heading into the dining room. He made a beeline for their table and sat down abruptly. Raijin glancing up in surprise at him.

"Seifer! I didn't see ya, ya know? Did ya just get back?"

He stared at them in silence.

Raijin cleared his throat at the awkwardness and said, "Well you're here now, ya know? I'm sure the waitress'll bring ya your food in a sec."

After he spoke, he glanced subtly at Fujin who was looking down at her plate, avoiding Seifer altogether. Seifer followed Raijin's gaze and stared at Fujin as well, expecting her to look up and ask if he was alright, since she'd left immediately after they found him in the forest.

When she didn't speak after a few minutes, he got irritated and grilled her. "Fujin, what's your problem?"

She glared at him, still closemouthed. Raijin tried to shake his head subtly in warning, but Seifer ignored it and kept pushing.

"Are you  _mad_  at me for earlier? I didn't do anything wrong, I just needed to let off some steam. You of all people should know that I deserve at least that. What's with your attitude, huh?"

She pushed back her chair back furiously, throwing her napkin down on the table.

"DONE," she exclaimed, her teeth clenched, and brusquely walked out of the dining room.

Seifer remained sitting down and stared after her, stewing in anger. The sound of his fingers drumming on the tabletop echoed throughout the restaurant and Raijin leaned forward.

"Seifer, I think you should give her some time, ya know?" he suggested.

Seifer scoffed and crossed his arms. "Time for what? She's acting like a little girl, pissed over nothing. I told you two what I was doing in the forest. She came in acting all high and mighty and has been upset at me ever since," he spat, irritated.

Raijin shook his head and murmured, "That's not why she's upset, man. Give her until tomorrow and ask her then. You both need to cool down, ya know?"

Seifer threw his hands up in the air in frustration, a sharp burst of air escaping from his mouth. He quickly shoved his chair back and stalked out of the restaurant, taking the stairs up to his room, two at a time. In jerky movements, he pulled his keycard out of his pocket, pushing his door open violently. It smacked against the far wall and as he walked inside, he glared at Fujin's closed door.

"Forget this, I don't need it," he mumbled under his breath, slamming his door shut.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seifer learns to admit his mistakes and the trio go on a vacation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to Arenoptara for being my beta - you are a lifesaver- and many thanks to you, my readers :)

  
A gentle breeze ruffled the golden strands of Seifer's hair. To him, it felt more like the soft caress of someone running their fingers through it. The ocean waves lapped at the pier's wooden posts, licking at the soles of his boots. The usual seagulls that haunted the town drifted overhead, cawing to indicate their boredom. Seifer found himself yearning to be those seagulls, free to fly anywhere. They never needed to belong in any one place. Wherever the flock went together, was their home.   
  
If only it were that easy for him.  
  
Two weeks had passed since his little episode in the forest, since he'd basically been put in his place by Fujin. She'd refused to speak to him since. At first, Seifer found her behavior ridiculous. Who ignores someone for going a little crazy on a T-Rexaur? After the first week, he'd decided that it was somehow her problem for being so upset with him. Then Raijin had spoken to him and tried to explain that maybe, just maybe, she was upset because of something he'd done afterwards. Naturally, he had no idea what Raijin was talking about.  
  
Since he'd mentioned that to Seifer, it had been all he could think about. He dissected every single conversation they'd had since - all three of them - and still couldn't see anything that could possibly make her upset. Maybe it was because he'd never apologized for snapping at her? It wasn't the first time he'd acted that way towards her though, and he figured she understood him better than that by now. He had meant to apologize but then she'd gone and gave him attitude that night at dinner and he'd gotten angry again, the apology tossed out the window.   
  
He let out a sigh that was swallowed by the cacophony of sounds that surrounded him.  
  
Footsteps sounded behind him, echoing on the wooden planks. He twisted around to look over his shoulder and saw a pair of black patent boots coming closer to him.   
  
Well, well, speak of the devil.  
  
"ALONE."  
  
Seifer turned to face the ocean again, resting his elbows on his thighs. Even though he'd just been thinking about her, it didn't necessarily mean he was ready to confront this whole apology thing just yet.  
  
"Yeah, I just...needed to think about some things."  
  
"OFTEN."  
  
"Well you know, I guess I have a lot to think about," he replied defensively.  
  
 _Way to start out the_ _conversation,_ _Seifer_.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her boots swing down and over the end of the pier. An awkward silence settled, the tension between them palpable in the air. After a few moments, Seifer cleared his throat.  
  
"So uh..."  
  
Fujin interrupted him and said firmly, "SORRY."  
  
Seifer whipped his head around to stare in surprise at her.  
  
"Wait, _you're_ sorry?"  
  
She nodded slowly, almost thoughtfully. In a tone of voice that was highly unlike Fujin, she continued.  
  
"Sorry...for before..."  
  
His expression softened in understanding. Fujin had only ever spoken like this once before, when she'd tried to reason with him in Lunatic Pandora. He'd been in so deep back then, completely deluded by his dream, refusing to see what was really happening. He remained silent, giving her an opportunity to finish what she was trying to say.  
  
She shook her head and tried a different, more familiar, approach.  
  
"WORRIED."  
  
He ran his gloved fingers through his hair, causing it to become disheveled. He looked down, feeling ashamed that he hadn't been the first one to apologize. If he'd felt guilty for blowing up at her before, this guilt paled in comparison. Now that she'd been the one to say something, the clarity of his mistake came rushing back to him.   
  
He sighed again, his shoulders falling in self-contempt.  
  
"I know you are, Fujin. Raijin talked to me about it. It...wasn't fair of me...to yell at you like I did."  
  
Her gray eyes focused on his cerulean ones, as if judging the sincerity in his apology. Naturally, that caused him to feel even worse than before. He'd screwed so many people over at this point. The entire time he'd been chasing his dream, he'd never once felt remorse over what he'd done to ruin all of those lives. Yet all Fujin had to do was look at him with that expression on her face, and his heart dropped into his stomach. It wasn't quite guilt or remorse that he felt when she looked at him like that. It was closer to...shame. It made him feel as if he were two feet tall instead of well over six feet.  
  
"TALK?" she asked quietly.  
  
He picked at a loose thread on his trench coat. The edges of it were so frayed that there were more loose threads than not, by this point. He sat in silence for some time, trying to think of where to begin. Thank God that Fujin had endless patience and that she knew that he was trying to just organize his thoughts, rather than ignoring her question.  
  
After awhile, Seifer finally began to speak, his voice low and contemplative, almost hesitant.  
  
"I...never really thought that what I did was wrong, if you know what I mean. Shit, I was just taking the chance to fulfill my dream, to mean something, to be important. The whole time we were at Garden, it felt like we were just struggling to catch up to...Squall. It was always Squall who did well. I think it bugged me more that he never wanted the attention, either. But it was all I strived for."  
  
Fujin never took her eyes off of him the entire time he spoke. She knew that he needed to get it all out and now that he'd begun, it was like a runaway train that needed to run its course.  
  
"When all was said and done and Squall was seen as the hero, I just...hated myself. So much work, so much sacrifice, and we still didn't achieve anything. We had nothing to show for it. When we got here, I kept asking myself, what now? Where do we go from here? Where do we belong? Hell, I still don't know the answer to any of those questions. Through it all, you and Raijin were always there, supporting me. You never questioned any of my decisions until I pushed you guys aside at Lunatic Pandora. I didn't understand it at the time, why you tried to tell me that I was going overboard. I thought you were just siding with Squall, which pissed me off even more."  
  
Her petite hand rested gently on his forearm and he tensed. Not because it was Fujin that was touching him necessarily, but because of the memories he was forcing himself to face. She knew this, and so she left her hand there to comfort him.  
  
He blew out a shaky breath and continued.  
  
"I should've listened to you guys. If I had, maybe...maybe things might've been different. Fujin, I...I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for back then, for misleading you and Raijin, for ruining everything. I'm sorry for yelling at you a couple weeks ago, over nothing. I-"  
  
Fujin moved her hand to his shoulder, squeezing it gently to interrupt him, and he turned to look at her. His face was stricken with so many different emotions, it was difficult to determine which one was affecting him the most at the moment.  
  
"I know," she whispered.  
  
The weight seemed to evaporate off of his shoulders at her forgiveness, and he lowered his head onto his chest. They sat there for some time, just the two of them. Fujin delicately ran her arm across Seifer's back, comforting him while he was lost in his thoughts. Even though Seifer was an orphan, it was the same type of comfort he imagined a mother would offer to her son. With Fujin though, it was different. It didn't feel...motherly. He wasn't quite sure whether that was a bad or a good thing.  
  
This had been a long time coming. It was one thing for the entire world to know that Seifer had messed up, but it was a wholly different thing for him to finally come to terms with it. He knew that Fujin and Raijin were always there for him, always believed in him. But he needed to believe in himself.  
  
Rather than allow the guilt to swallow him whole, he needed to learn how to use it to push himself forward, to a better place.   
  
After an hour or so had passed of them just sitting together in silence, heavy footsteps approached them and they both turned to look over their shoulders, towards the end of the pier. Raijin was walking slowly towards them, as if he were trying to gauge whether this was a good time or not.  
  
When he saw that they didn't seem to be upset, he sped up and came to a stop just in front of them.  
  
He placed his hands on his hips and a slight smile spread across his face.  
  
"Looks like you two have made up, ya know?"  
  
Seifer raised his hand in the air and waved it around nonchalantly.  
  
Raijin chuckled and swung his arms back and forth, hitting his palm with the opposite fist.  
  
"Well, I'm thinkin' it's about time for a vacation, ya know? Let's get out of here and go somewhere!"  
  
Fujin's face scrunched up in annoyance and she glared up at him. "WHERE?"  
  
Seifer sighed and shrugged his shoulders out from under her arm, not wanting Raijin to ask about the moment that had passed between them. He wasn't sure whether he'd have an explanation for it.  
  
"It doesn't matter where we go, people will still react the same. Just pick a damn city and we'll go."  
  
Raijin stroked his chin thoughtfully, his head tilted up in thought.  
  
"What about Deling, ya know? It's got tons to keep us busy for awhile and we can buy some cool stuff to bring back!"  
  
Fujin looked at Seifer hopefully. She must have had some things in mind that she wanted to look for and he couldn't exactly be the one who dash those hopes, could he?   
  
He rolled his eyes and stood, shaking his legs out to get the blood flowing back into them.  
  
"Yeah, sure, wherever you guys wanna go."  
  
He glanced at Fujin quickly and met her gaze, as if to reassure himself that they were indeed on good terms again. When she nodded slightly, he turned to head back to the hotel with a subtle smile on his face.  
  
Things were all right in the world again.  
  


* * *

  
Seifer hated large cities. But the city that held the number one spot of absolute and total hatred in his opinion, was Deling. It was a town of politicians who were dishonest and only had their best interests at heart. The people were exactly the same as those that led them, presumptuous and judgmental. Sure, he'd done terrible things. But these people...these people were that way all the time, that was their natural state of being. It disgusted him. It also didn't help in the slightest that now that everyone in the world knew who he was, the people who disgusted him so much, looked at him with equal disdain now.  
  
 _Just fucking wonderful_ , he thought bitterly.  
  
If Raijin hadn't suggested this place and if Fujin's face hadn't lit up so much at the prospect of coming here, he would've shot that idea down immediately. But considering he and Fujin had just gotten back on good terms, he didn't want to be the one who brought the whole group down. Again.  
  
So here they were, in Deling, for the weekend. The _entire_ weekend.  
  
They stepped off the train at Deling Station and headed for the escalators that would take them up and into the city. Deling Station was impressive in the fact that it wasn't just a station in the middle of nowhere. The station was directly attached to the city and thanks to the convenient location, they didn't have to hike six miles just to get into town. Seifer had to hand it to whoever was in charge of setting that up, because it was a great decision.  
  
As they reached the top of the escalators and the city came into view, Seifer had to admit that it was one impressive view. Deling was huge and it was designed to pull its visitors in from the get-go. The plaza in front of the station was enormous. A large, elaborate fountain sat right in front of them, the soft gurgle of water instantly putting him at ease. Just past the fountain though, down a long stretch of asphalt, lay the arch, which was surrounded by multiple trees that were currently blooming. The fragrant scent of their blossoms drifted through the air and made his nose tingle. Just beyond the archway, he could see bright spotlights trailing through the sky, lighting it up in shades of royal blue and light pink.   
  
Seifer's jaw tensed at the sight, memories of where it all began flashing through his mind. His grip on the strap across his shoulder tightened and he forced himself to look away, his teeth clenched.  
  
Two streets on opposite sides led away from the fountain and it was just to their left that the bus stop attendant stood. Fujin and Raijin led the way over there, Seifer reluctantly trudging along behind them.  
  
He was anxious to get to the hotel. The train ride had exhausted him. He didn't like to remain cooped up for too long and being stuck in a train cabin for roughly three hours left him feeling claustrophobic. He could only pace from one side to the other so many times.  
  
They waited for bus number eight-- _Weren't they all numbered as bus eight?_ \--and when it finally pulled up to the curb in front of them, Seifer stepped back to let Fujin and Raijin board first.   
  
He preferred to be the last one to board so people couldn't stare for longer than necessary. People tended to file towards the back in situations like boarding buses, filling up classrooms, waiting in doctor's offices...so if he boarded last, he could sit immediately down on the first bench, right by the door. Last in, first out. It allowed for the least amount of exposure.  
  
His little social experiment proved to be successful and the bus ride to Deling's hotel was thankfully, uneventful. As they pulled up to the hotel's front doors, Seifer marveled at the fact that nothing in the city had changed. Granted, it hadn't been that long since they'd been there last and not much could change in a few months. The main street that the hotel sat on was still as busy as ever, bustling with tourists and locals alike.  
  
In addition to the hotel, the street also contained the weapons shop that he assumed was where Fujin and Raijin wanted to visit the most. It was just across the street and down a ways from the hotel and Seifer felt relieved that they didn't have to traipse all around town just to visit a few stores. That would've made him feel even more irritated.  
  
Seifer hung back while Fujin and Raijin checked them in. He leaned against the wall, his arms crossed and glaring at every single person who happened to glance his way. It might not have been the best way to stay under the radar but what the hell did it matter, when everyone was bound to recognize him instantly anyway.  
  
After they walked back to the elevator, he punched the button to call the elevator down to the lobby. When the doors opened, a couple dressed in formal evening attire were wrapped around each other, completely oblivious to the fact that they had company now.  
  
Seifer cleared his throat, annoyed, and they looked up, surprised at the interruption. When their expressions went from surprise to horror at seeing who had caught them in the midst of their act, his mood turned even more sour.  
  
He jerked his thumb back over his shoulder, at the front door, and in a snide voice said, "How about you guys high tail it out of there so I can get up to my room, huh? You obviously have more important places to be."  
  
They scampered out, narrowly avoiding bumping into his shoulder, and quickly ran out the front doors.   
  
The three of them shuffled into the elevator and he nearly punched a hole into the elevator wall when he pressed the button for their floor. He never took his eyes off of the little screen that indicated what floor they were on, watching the numbers slowly increase. Fujin stared at the back of his head in concern at the downhill turn his mood had taken, but decided that perhaps now wasn't the best time to ask if everything was alright. His anger was too...fresh.  
  
She sighed, feeling discouraged at the fact that every time Seifer seemed to take a step forward, something like this would happen and he'd end up running five steps back. How was he ever supposed to move on from what had happened if he got this upset every time someone so much as looked at him?  
  
When they reached their floor, Seifer stalked out of the elevator down the hall. He was quite a ways ahead of them before he realized he had no idea which rooms were theirs. Reluctantly, he turned back to face Fujin and Raijin, waiting for them to catch up to him.  
  
"Uh...what's our room number?"  
  
"We are...345, 346, and 350. One of the rooms is a ways down from the other two, ya know? I don't mind taking that one," Raijin said, rushing down the hall past Seifer.  
  
Seifer watched Raijin run off and turned back towards Fujin, who had paused in front of him.  
  
"KEY."  
  
He held out his hand for her and she placed his room key in his gloved palm, brushing past him to insert her key into the door behind him. Apparently, he had walked much further from the elevator than he'd realized and happened to stop right in front of their rooms.  
  
 _Well how about that? Guess I'm good at something after all_ , he thought sarcastically to himself.  
  
After Fujin had walked into her room and shut her door, he quickly let himself into his room and flipped the lights on. Tossing his bag onto the large, king-sized bed in the middle of the room, he turned to take his coat off when the phone rang.  
  
He stared at it, almost offended at the interruption, before walking over and picking up the receiver slowly.  
  
"...What?"  
  
"Hey, man! So we're thinking of heading back downstairs to get some grub at the hotel bar, ya know? You wanna come with?"  
  
Seifer sighed, his level of annoyance at an all time high, and said, "I think I'm good. I'll stay up here and just see you two tomorrow."  
  
It was probably safer for everyone if he just hid up in his room. The next person to look at him wrong would probably have gotten an earful of threats that may not have been empty.  
  
"Oh...well alright, then. If you get hungry just come down and find us, ya know? See ya!"  
  
He slowly put the receiver back down into the phone's cradle and shrugged out of his coat, throwing it onto the bed next to his bag. He flopped down heavily on top of the comforter, sighing again.  
  
 _I'm just a ball of fuckin' sunshine today, aren't I?_  
  
This was going to be one **long** trip.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seifer meets up with someone unexpected while on his Deling City vacation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter is finished far sooner than I had expected. It just wrote itself! This chapter is pretty much the one that gets the ball rolling for future chapters. I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> As always, thanks to my readers and my beta, Arenoptara. I don't know what I'd do without her.

Taking walks had always served as an alternative form of meditation for Seifer. It wasn't as if he ever truly meditated - yoga on the beach wasn't quite his forte.   
  
He preferred to sit at the docks in Balamb, listening to the waves crash against the stone walls that the pier was connected to. It was predictable because the ocean would always have waves that ebbed and flowed. It was relaxing because it was a sound he had heard often while growing up. First in the orphanage, then at Balamb Garden because of its proximity to the beach.  
  
Deling City had no pier and definitely no beach. Hell, it didn't even have a nearby lake. In order to look out onto the ocean, he had to leave the city limits and trek across a large expanse of open grasslands, closer to the Tomb of the Unknown King. It was the only point remotely near the city that came close to the water, but he wasn't about to go hiking uphill for a few miles just for the view. As a result, he was beginning to feel extremely restless.   
  
They'd only been in the city for two days. Tomorrow was the scheduled date of their departure and Seifer absolutely could not wait. Fujin and Raijin were having the time of their lives, of course. They weren't glared at by the townsfolk every time they stepped outside of the hotel.   
  
Naturally, Seifer was.  
  
Yesterday, they'd gone down the street to the weapons shop that had been the main reason for this little vacation and Raijin had picked up some new enhancements for his battle staff, spiked ends to be specific. Fujin had eyed the new models of chakram, but she was far too frugal to spend money on a new one when the current one she used was just fine.   
  
Or as she had said, "PERFECT."  
  
Seifer figured she wouldn't purchase a new one until her current one was missing spikes and she had to tape the broken sides together.  
  
The shopkeeper at the weapon's shop had not been happy to see them. When Fujin and Raijin had entered the store, his eyes had flashed in recognition but he still graciously laid out his various equipment options for them to look over. When Seifer had walked into the shop, the man had paled, sweeping the inventory to the side so that he could stand with his back against the shelf and his hand under the counter. Presumably on his own weapon of choice, in case Seifer randomly decided to slice and dice everything in the store, as he was apparently known to do.  
  
Seifer had scoffed and stepped back outside to lean against the store's front window to wait for Fujin and Raijin to finish up. He wasn't going to stand inside and be subjected to the man's nervous scrutiny for a half hour, no thank you. Except, he'd forgotten that there were far more people outside the shop than inside.  
  
Every single person that walked down his side of the street had to include a wide circle of avoidance, right in front of where Seifer was standing. It was almost as if each person that passed by could sense the underlying current of danger within him and his mood got progressively worse with each one. By the time Fujin and Raijin had left the shop, a permanent scowl had been etched onto his face.  
  
Dinner hadn't been any better. They'd returned to the hotel to drop off Raijin's purchases and then migrated down to the hotel's bar on the bottom floor. The hostess had seated them at the table that was furthest back from the stairs that served as the entrance, almost hidden in the corner by a curtain they'd hung to serve as decoration. That was probably their exact purpose. The table had obviously been reserved for the hotel's guests that they had to accommodate, but didn't necessarily want to accommodate.  
  
Their waitress was even less polite than the hostess. She'd come over and taken their orders when they'd first sat down, barely said ten words to them over the entire course of their meal, and never came back out. In fact, someone else delivered their food and the hostess informed them that their meals would be charged to their rooms, rather than having them pay when they finished. Obviously, it was the fastest way to get them out of there.  
  
The entire interaction, or lack thereof, throughout dinner had left Seifer with a bitter taste in his mouth. Treating him like that was one thing, he was used to it. But seeing Raijin and Fujin--especially Fujin--treated the same way, irritated him to no end. They didn't deserve to be treated like trash just because of their association with him. It didn't matter that Seifer knew Fujin could take care of herself, and then some. It was the principle of it.  
  
As a result of the great day they'd had yesterday, Seifer was a little strung out at the moment. With no oceanic options for relaxation, he'd ended up here, by the archway in front of the station.  
  
When he'd left the hotel a couple hours earlier, he'd just picked a direction and starting walking, his head down and his gaze focused on his boots going one in front of the other on the asphalt. By the time he'd looked back up again, he'd almost plowed right into the fountain in front of the station's escalators.   
  
That would've been painfully embarrassing. Everyone could've added 'oblivious' right under 'evil son-of-a-bitch', 'deranged', and 'asshole' on the list of current adjectives commonly used to describe him.   
  
He had planned on avoiding the archway altogether, sticking to the outer ring that circled the city instead. Thanks to him not paying attention, here he was, right in front of one of the places he'd never wanted to see again. He couldn't pull a chicken-wuss and run away. No one wanted to live with themselves, knowing they were a coward.   
  
So he turned to face the arch and parked it on the lip of the fountain. At least now he could hear the faint sounds of water, even if it was just a trickle and not the grand crashing of waves.  
  
He stared out at the arch, a mix of emotions running through him at the all-too familiar sight of it. The usual course of self-loathing made an appearance, followed by a boat-load of guilt at his actions. Regret over some of the paths he'd chosen to take, came soon after. What he was surprised by however, was the rush of remorse that he also felt.   
  
The conversation he'd had with Fujin before they came to Deling had opened up a whole can of worms for him. Now he understood and embraced the fact that he truly regretted what he'd done. Every time he reflected on the past, he always felt some sort of emotion. The remorse and guilt were new additions to the pity party.   
  
A contrite sigh escaped from his lips and almost immediately after, a feminine gasp reached his ears.  
  
Seifer's eyebrows furrowed, both in annoyance that his alone time had been interrupted and that now, he'd have to chase some little girl who was gawking at 'big, bad Seifer', away.   
  
He turned to his right to tell the girl to go find something else to stare at, when his mouth fell open in shock.  
  
It wasn't a little girl.   
  
It was a woman who was wearing a salmon pink, mid-calf length skirt, her matching shirt unzipped at the waistline up to just above her belly button. As he trailed his gaze from her black boots up to her face, his cerulean eyes matched her crystal blue ones in the way that both were widened in shock at the moment. Her blonde hair framed her face, with the long ends held up in the back by a clip, causing them to fan out above her head.  
  
 _Well, I'll be damned_ , he thought to himself.   
  
It was a woman he never thought he'd see again, anytime soon. Judging from her tone of voice when she spoke, it seemed as if she had thought the same thing about him.  
  
"...Seifer?"   
  
Her voice hadn't changed, just like her appearance had remained the same. It was still as husky and rich as he remembered it being. That didn't necessarily mean that he wanted to see her, though.  
  
"Quistis. Hey."  
  
 _Seriously, of all the people to run into._  
  
Quistis' eyes darted around Seifer, before settling back on his face again.  
  
"What...are you doing here?" she asked hesitantly.   
  
He leaned back, resting his hands behind him on the edge of the concrete.  
  
"I'm on vacation, actually. What, I can't travel the world and visit all the same places you guys can?"  
  
Quistis quickly looked down when she heard his antagonistic tone of voice. In an attempt to keep the peace, she quietly said, "I didn't say that. I was just asking since you're sitting in the middle of the plaza...alone."  
  
He stood swiftly and faced her, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"Like I said, I'm on vacation. Why are you here?"  
  
Her eyes flashed up to meet his and her mouth set into a thin line.  
  
"I can't tell you why."  
  
He smirked and mumbled bitterly, "Of course you can't. All important SeeD business, I'm assuming. 'Course you can't tell _me_."  
  
Her eyes narrowed in annoyance and through clenched teeth, she said, "Yes, Seifer. Of course I can't tell you. Who's fault is that, again? Don't pin this on me and act like the whole world is out to get you when it's your own doing."  
  
Seifer's arms slowly dropped to his side and his smirk turned into a full blown glare. A long, tense moment passed before he finally spoke again.  
  
"Fine, I get it. I'll go."  
  
As he turned to leave, she held up her hand to stop him.  
  
"You don't have to go. I'm just patrolling, so I'll be leaving soon enough. If you really want to know, I can tell you that we're here because Squall is meeting with President Deling's replacement as a representative from Garden. I can't tell you any more than that, though."  
  
With his back still facing Quistis, Seifer started to walk away, his shoulders tense.  
  
Under his breath, he said, "Sounds like he's saving the day again, huh?"  
  
Quistis watched his figure retreat into the distance, towards the main street, studying the back of his tattered coat as he walked further away. Every time he passed under a streetlight, it created a halo around him, causing his hair to glow slightly. It was a stark contrast to his posture that currently screamed to everyone around him that he wanted to be left alone.  
  
Although she could tell right away that it had been Seifer, he seemed...different somehow. He was as rude and abrasive as she had remembered him being but something had changed in him that she couldn't pinpoint from speaking to him for only a few minutes.  
  
It probably had something to do with the way that he had immediately turned to snap at her before he had realized who she was. His response to her surprised reaction at seeing him was guarded, as if he was permanently in a state of defensiveness. It reminded her of...a wounded dog - an animal that had trusted in a human and had been betrayed, and left to fend for itself.  
  
She tilted her head to the side, deep in thought. She couldn't see him anymore since he'd gone far enough to walk out of her line of immediate sight. Of course, she'd have to tell Squall she had seen him.   
  
But how would she say that even though it had, without a doubt, been Seifer...somehow it wasn't Seifer?

* * *

Seifer stuffed his hands into his coat pockets as he traipsed back towards the hotel. Seeing Quistis unexpectedly had thrown him completely off track and he was having a hard time staying calm. The worst part was that he wasn't even sure how he was feeling at the moment.  
  
He wasn't particularly upset about seeing her, though it had irritated him towards the end when she'd gotten all sassy. He'd almost forgotten how perfect she was as an instructor. She just had that voice and attitude that constantly made you feel as if you were being reprimanded and boy, had she reprimanded him.  
  
He wasn't angry, he definitely wasn't sad...so what the hell was he feeling? Just...irked? Annoyed that someone he recognized and someone that actually knew him had seen him wandering without a purpose?   
  
_That's gotta be it. God damn._  
  
He pushed through the hotel's front doors and headed over towards the elevators. He was so lost in thought that he didn't even see Fujin sitting on one of the lounge chairs in the lobby, waiting for him to return. It wasn't until she'd stepped directly in front of him and put her hand on his chest to stop him from plowing her over, that his head snapped up and he met her gaze.  
  
"Fujin, what the hell? Where did you come from?"  
  
She rolled her eyes and pointed at the chairs just behind him and his gaze followed her finger.  
  
"Were you sitting there the entire time?" he asked incredulously.  
  
"WAIT."  
  
His hand came up and he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease some of the tension there from his session of self-reflection...and from seeing Quistis.  
  
"Shit, I didn't even see you. You didn't have to wait up for me."  
  
She shook her head slowly and turned around, pressing the up button next to the elevator doors. As it lit up in confirmation, she turned back around to face him.   
  
"ALWAYS."  
  
He fidgeted, feeling awkward at her admission, and started taking his hands out of his pockets only to immediately put them back in. He cleared his throat.  
  
"Where's Raijin?"  
  
"ASLEEP," she said, and the elevator doors silently slid open.  
  
They'd both started to head into it when Seifer heard his name being called out in a feminine voice, the clear and melodic sound ringing through the lobby. Fujin's eyes widened in recognition when she turned and Seifer spun around as well, his eyebrows furrowed in concern at Fujin's reaction.  
  
When he recognized the baby blue duster, he almost shoved Fujin into the elevator in his haste to get away. He barely heard her grunt in protest and he quickly pressed the button for their floor, willing the doors to close immediately.  
  
"Seifer, wait!"   
  
An arm shot into the elevator as the doors tried to close on the knitted arm warmer that was the same color as the duster that she wore - the same one that she'd always worn.   
  
The doors slid open and Rinoa Heartilly squeezed into the elevator.   
  
She was every bit as breathtaking as she was in his memories, both of the past and of more recent times. Her hair was still as dark as the midnight sky, with those three caramel colored highlights on each side of her bangs. Her eyes were still a deep, rich, chocolate brown and radiating with kindness that he didn't deserve. Frankly, in his opinion, that no one deserved. Her lips were still a soft pink, the same shade as the roses that bloomed in the springtime near Balamb. He didn't think time would ever diminish her beauty.  
  
But that was his opinion from the past. He wasn't exactly allowed to hold her in such high esteem--not anymore.  
  
The doors shut again, closing the three of them in together as the elevator rose to their floor. Seifer stared at Rinoa, his face a blank slate. The silence in the elevator was oppressive. The only sound that invaded the space was the regular 'ding' of the floors passing by.  
  
Rinoa seemed as if she was regretting her hasty decision to follow them. She was shuffling in place, obviously uncomfortable under Seifer's intense scrutiny. Fujin was standing as a barrier between Rinoa and Seifer, who was standing in the far corner.   
  
When the elevator doors finally opened again, Rinoa rushed out into the hallway and Fujin and Seifer trailed after her. They passed her by and headed down the hall, leading the way to their rooms. Rinoa followed after them, her steps slow and hesitant, as if she were uncertain whether she should tag along. With every few steps, she'd turn and look back over her shoulder, fighting with herself on whether to continue on or turn back now, before it was too late.

As they approached the rooms, Fujin looked at Seifer, trying to ask silently whether he wanted her to leave so he could be alone with Rinoa. He subtly nodded and she went into her room after a moment of hesitation, her eyes holding Seifer's gaze until the door clicked shut.

Now, Seifer and Rinoa were in the hallway, alone.

Seifer shoved his hands back into his pockets again and looked at Rinoa, his face once again clear of emotion.  
  
"Rinoa...what do you want?"  
  
She shifted her weight from one side to the other, her right hand grasping her left forearm - a nervous habit she'd always had, even as far back as Seifer’s memories went.  
  
With her gaze still focused on the tops of her boots, she quietly mumbled, "I heard from Quistis that you were in town. I just...thought we should talk."  
  
Seifer sighed and leaned against the door to his room, his arms crossed.  
  
"I can't imagine Squall was too happy about you running off to talk to me."  
  
"...he doesn't know...I left while he was still at the Presidential Residence," she muttered.  
  
He pushed off the door quickly, his eyes flashing in disbelief.  
  
"Are you serious, right now?! How could you not tell him you were leaving? Especially to see _me_!"  
  
Rinoa winced and replied, "Seifer, you don't have to yell at me, I'm not a child. I needed to talk to you about something, that's why I didn't tell him. I knew he'd get upset."  
  
Seifer sighed in frustration, running his hands through his hair. He looked up and down the hall then grabbed his key out of his pocket, shoving it into the door lock. When the light turned green, he pushed the door open roughly and grabbed Rinoa by the elbow, dragging her into the room with him. She cried out in surprise and panicked, clawing at his arm, trying to get him to let go. As the door slammed shut, he promptly dropped her arm and spun around to glare at her.  
  
"I know we've been through some bad shit but you don't have to freak out like that. I wouldn't hurt you. Not now..."  
  
Rinoa's chest heaved up and down as she gasped for air. She stepped back and put some distance between her and Seifer, trying to remain composed.  
  
"I-I know that. I just...freaked out when you grabbed me. Sorry."  
  
Seifer stared at her, his gaze softening. His expression quickly became haunted.  
  
"Do you, though?" he asked in a low voice.  
  
He didn't wait for a response and walked further into the room, away from her, giving her the space that she needed.  
  
When her breathing and heart rate had finally returned to normal, she walked forward hesitantly. Her hand came up to rub her forearm again and she cleared her throat to get Seifer's attention, rocking back onto her heels when she was about two feet away from him.  
  
He turned his head to look over his shoulder, but his body remained facing away from her.  
  
"Why are you here, Rinoa? What could we possibly talk about?"  
  
She approached him timidly and laid her hand on his shoulder, as if reassuring both of them that she truly wasn't afraid of him. It was also her way of silently asking him to turn around, so they could talk face to face.  
  
"I wanted to talk about us, about what happened. Ever since everything went down, we never got a chance to clear the air. Squall thinks it still bothers me but really, I think it's _him_ that's bothered by it still."  
  
Seifer turned back to face her but kept his gaze trained on the top of her head, avoiding looking directly at her.  
  
"What do you want me to say about it? You want me to apologize?"  
  
Rinoa shook her head vigorously.  
  
"No, I know that would be too much to ask-" Seifer's face scrunched up in offense "-I just wanted to tell you that I don't blame you. I don't have any hard feelings towards you anymore."  
  
He looked down, concentrating on the reflection on his boots caused by the lamp on the table, and the room fell silent. After a few tense moments, he finally said, "How could you not blame me?"  
  
She sighed and walked over towards the beds, sitting down on the closest one to Seifer. She swung her legs back and forth, the bottoms of her boots scuffing against the carpet.  
  
 _Tch...tch...tch..._  
  
When she finally spoke, her voice was so soft that Seifer had to strain to hear her. She sounded as if she were sad, which made no sense. She should be angry with him.  
  
"I did blame you at first. I blamed you for a lot of things. I thought that everything that happened was your fault, especially Adel. When it was all over and done with, I finally realized that you were one of the victims too, not the bad guy."  
  
"You're wrong about that. I was one of the bad guys."  
  
"No, _you're_ wrong, Seifer. Ultimecia used you - she used your dreams and your desires to turn you into her puppet. You may have thought you were doing what you wanted but that's not true. I knew you before this all happened, remember? You were never like that."  
  
He stared at her in surprise, blown away by her firm belief in the goodness she apparently saw within him.  
  
"Maybe you didn't know me as well as you thought you did."  
  
She shook her head slowly, doubtfully.   
  
"I know I did. You can't convince me otherwise. Squall doesn't believe me either. He thinks you were being selfish and that you were perfectly in control of your decisions."  
  
Seifer scoffed and looked away, staring intently at the floral wallpaper.  
  
"Yeah well, maybe he's right."  
  
Rinoa stood again and crossed the room to stand right in front of him, as Fujin had done in the lobby earlier.  
  
"No, he's not. Seifer, look at me."   
  
He didn't budge, his gaze still focused off to the side.  
  
"Please look at me."  
  
He sighed in exasperation, the air leaving his mouth in a sharp burst.  
  
"What?!"  
  
Rinoa gazed up at him with a tender expression on her face.   
  
He stepped back and stumbled, shocked that she could still look at him like that after their history.  
  
Quietly, she said, "I know you're not like that, Seifer. I just wanted to come here and tell you that myself...that I forgive you."  
  
As soon as the words were formed on her rosy lips, Seifer's knees buckled.   
  
It was one thing to know for sure that the entire world hated you and would never forgive you, that he was fine with. He didn't know those people, they didn't really matter.  
  
But to have the one person that you had screwed over the most, the one person you had tried to  kill once or twice --inadvertently or not-- tell you that they actually forgave you?   
  
He couldn't handle it.  
  
Rinoa started to step forward to catch him but hesitated at the last second. Seifer sank into the chair behind him, overwhelmed by his emotions.  
  
He studied her face then, wondering if perhaps she didn't really mean that she forgave him already. As he'd asked, how could she? How could anyone forgive the person who had tried to destroy the world and kill them - thrown her to the wolves as a sacrifice, essentially?  
  
His first assumption was that she was lying, but Rinoa had never been one to lie about things like this. A small part of him really wanted to believe her, wanted to believe that someone other than Fujin and Raijin could actually forgive him.  
  
The silence between them stretched on. Seifer still sat in the chair, his head in his hands, and Rinoa stood off to the side, her nervous habit making an appearance once again while she waited for him to say something.  
  
After a few more minutes of nothing went by, Rinoa finally turned to leave, her expression filled with disappointment at his lack of a response. The sound of her footsteps were muffled due to the carpet.   
  
Seifer finally raised his head to watch her walk away. As she reached for the door handle, he called out to her quietly - so quietly, she was sure she wouldn't have heard him if the room hadn't been deathly silent.  
  
"Rinoa..."  
  
She turned back to look at him, her face now impassive as if she were attempting to distance herself from him.  
  
"...Yes, Seifer?"  
  
The brightness of his eyes pierced through the darkness of the room, meeting her warm gaze.  
  
"...Thank you."  
  
She nodded at him and pulled the door open, stepping out into the hallway. She turned back to look at him and their eyes met once again. Instead of disappointment, hers were now filled with hope. When Seifer lightly smiled at her, she returned the gesture, and softly closed the door, leaving him alone.   
  
The only difference this time, was that he was no longer dealing with just sadness and guilt. There was a small inkling of true inner peace now.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seifer and Fujin take a big step in recognizing their feelings for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to lie, I squealed like a little girl while writing this chapter. It was just so much fun to write, I seriously had a blast. I hope you guys love it too!
> 
> Again, not to sound like a broken record--my beta, Arenoptara, is a god-send. I love her. About as much as I love you, my readers :3
> 
> Enjoy.

The shrill sound of the train's horn rang through Balamb Station, prematurely announcing its arrival. As it chugged up to the platform, the gigantic wheels slowly creaked to a stop and the conductor's voice came over the loudspeaker.

" _Balamb Station...all passengers depart here at Balamb Station._ "  
  
The automatic doors slid open and Seifer, followed closely by Fujin and Raijin, hopped down onto the platform's tiled surface. He stretched languorously, like a cat, as he let out a long groan. His back popped and he winced at the release of pressure. He felt someone poke him in the ribs, flinching at the jolt that shot through him.  
  
"MOVE."  
  
He glared at the back of Fujin's head as she brushed past him on her way to the turnstiles at the entrance.   
  
Raijin came up beside him and nudged Seifer with his shoulder, indicating towards Fujin's retreating back.   
  
"What did you do this time, ya know?"  
  
Seifer shrugged his shoulders, a bewildered expression on his face.  
  
"Other than block her way? Pretty sure I didn't do anything."  
  
The men looked at each other and rolled their eyes simultaneously, as they descended the station's steps onto the main street.  
  
 _Women._  
  
They'd left Deling in the middle of the afternoon, hoping to avoid congestion at the stations. As a result, it was just before nightfall in Balamb. The roofs of the buildings glowed a warm, burnt orange shade; the lower halves were cast in shadow, a deep navy blue. The streetlights were just beginning to flicker on for the night and Seifer smiled fondly.   
  
It was good to be back.  
  
He wasn't entirely sure when he'd started thinking of Balamb as a permanent place to live. Before they'd left for Deling, he'd considered it just a blip on the map--a temporary stop in their journey. When they had lived at Garden, the town was just a gateway to the rest of the world, a place they simply passed through.   
  
As the train had departed Deling Station, he found himself looking forward to haunting the docks and seeing the ocean on a daily basis again. He was actually excited to stay in their hotel rooms--to be frank, it was almost more like his room, by this point--and to eat at their usual restaurant again. It was funny how quickly people formed habits.  
  
Seifer clapped Raijin on the shoulder, a brilliant idea having just popped into his mind.   
  
"Raijin...let's get _drunk_."  
  
Raijin turned to look at Seifer, his eyebrows raised so high they seemed as if they were going to fade into his hairline. His eyes were wide as he tried to figure out what the punchline was.  
  
"Drunk?! You haven't suggested that in ages, ya know??"  
  
Seifer smirked and dragged Raijin towards the hotel, his arm draped across his friend's shoulders.   
  
"Well, that's why it's such a good idea."  
  
As they rounded the corner, they spotted Fujin pushing the hotel's front doors open, her suitcase rolling behind her.   
  
"Should we ask Fujin too, ya know?"  
  
"Hmm...I'm thinking...just us tonight. How's that sound?"  
  
Raijin grinned widely, his excitement infectious. The pair followed Fujin's lead, heading into the hotel. Instead of going up the stairs to their rooms however, they turned and walked into the restaurant. The waitress who had helped them before--what felt like years ago, in Seifer's opinion--waved at them, and pointed to their usual table. Seifer gave her a mock salute, and him and Raijin plopped down into the familiar wicker chairs.   
  
The waitress trailed over to their table and asked, "The usual?"  
  
Seifer and Raijin wiggled their eyebrows at each other and Seifer turned to look at the waitress, having more fun than he had in quite some time.  
  
"No, actually, we'll take four shots of bourbon. Please."  
  
She laughed softly under her breath, tucking her notepad back into her apron.  
  
"Partying tonight, are we boys?" she teased, as she left to enter their orders.  
  
A few minutes later, she brought out their shots on a tray, setting two glasses in front of each of them. Seifer met Raijin's gaze and narrowed his eyes, issuing a challenge. Raijin raised his eyebrows again and quickly downed both shots, boorishly slamming the glasses back down on the table.   
  
Seifer threw his head back and laughed--Raijin never failed to amuse him. Accepting his loss graciously, he also drank both of his shots and pushed all four glasses towards the waitress.  
  
"Keep 'em coming, yeah?"  
  
She winked and cleared the table, making a pit stop by the computer, then disappeared into the kitchen.  
  
This continued on for the next couple of hours and the restaurant was promptly cleared of customers, thanks to Seifer and Raijin laughing raucously as they threw inappropriate jokes at each other--just like old times.  
  
Their laughter trailed off and Raijin looked at Seifer intently, curiosity in his eyes. Seifer glanced down at his empty whisky glass--he'd switched back to his usual after a few shots--and chuckled, the ice cubes in his glass tinkling.

"I know you want to ask me something, Raijin. Just spit it out, man."  
  
"Okay...Fujin told me that Rinoa came to talk to you in Deling, ya know? Why?"  
  
"I figured she'd tell you. We just talked about shit from the past, that's all."  
  
"...she's been kinda upset, ya know? She left you guys out in the hall last night and then ya never said anythin' to her 'bout it today."  
  
Seifer sighed, his shoulders falling and his head dropping down onto his chest. He didn't particularly like the direction the conversation was heading.  
  
"Upset about what? Nothing happened. Rinoa is with Squall, Fujin knows that. I don't feel that way about Rinoa anymore, haven't in a long time. We just talked about everything that had happened, that's _it_."  
  
Raijin nodded slowly, as if he were contemplating what Seifer had said. After a bit, he finally said, "Now I know that. I think Fujin needs to know too, ya know?"  
  
Seifer set his glass on the table and briskly pushed his chair back.   
  
"In that case, I'll go tell her right now."  
  
He stood a little too quickly and stumbled, as the floor seemed to shift back and forth.   
  
_Apparently, I've had more to drink than I realized_ , he thought facetiously.   
  
"Hey Raijin, if I fall down the stairs, you got my back, right?" Seifer asked jokingly.  
  
Raijin raised his glass towards Seifer and smiled.  
  
"Of course. Get goin', ya know?"  
  
As Seifer tried to walk out of the restaurant, he had to brace himself on each table that he passed in order to to reorient himself--otherwise he'd probably have fallen on his face several times. When he finally reached the stairs and followed the banister up with his eyes, he was hit with a severe wave of vertigo and almost tumbled backwards.   
  
"Jesus Christ, I don't remember the floor moving this much," he muttered under his breath.  
  
He attempted to climb up the staircase--one hand on the banister, one foot in front of the other, repeat. It was easier in theory than in practice and he moved sluggishly, nearly tripping down the stairs multiple times.  
  
Finally, he managed to fumble his way from the top step onto the landing. He trudged down the hall towards Fujin's room and lunged for her door handle, falling over himself. He pulled his weight up, using the handle as leverage and frowned when he tried to turn it. Why was it locked?  
  
 _Duh, it's a hotel. The door isn't going to just magically open for you_ , he thought sarcastically.  
  
"Fuu...Fuu open up!" he yelled as he pounded on the door, not caring one whit about disturbing the other guests.  
  
He snickered to himself as he waited for her to come to the door. He hadn't called Fujin by that nickname in years--since they were kids actually. Oh, the things excessive amounts of alcohol did to him.  
  
The bolt slid open on the other side of the door and it creaked open slowly. Fujin stuck her head out, peeking to see who it was without opening the door completely. When she saw that it was Seifer, her eyes tapered into slits and waves of annoyance rolled off of her.  
  
"...WHAT?"  
  
Seifer's amused expression fell when he saw her mood, and he frowned.  
  
"Fuu...is that any way to treat your closest pal? Honestly. And here I thought you'd be excited to see me."  
  
"...DRUNK," she stated, her voice laced with irritation.  
  
A hiccup escaped from his mouth and he chuckled again.  
  
"I am most definitely, a _little_ drunk...Hey, can I come in? I feel kind of awkward standing in the hall like this."  
  
Fujin sighed and pushed the door all the way open. She turned and walked back to the bed, sinking down on top of it and tucking her legs underneath her. She watched silently as Seifer paced back and forth, her face scrunched up--she was obviously irked at his presence.   
  
"SEIFER."  
  
He stopped in mid-stride, glancing over at her. When he saw her expression, he planted his feet loudly and crossed his arms, mocking her gloominess. Fujin rolled her eyes at his immaturity.  
  
"What Fuu, am I bugging you?" he taunted.   
  
She arched her eyebrow at him, surprised at his use of her nickname. A stare-off ensued, neither one of them willing to be the first to break the silence. After a few minutes, Seifer finally broke eye contact and sat down on the floor, his weight dropping heavily. He leaned back against the dresser, grunting when he banged his head on the drawer pull.  
  
Fujin scoffed at his carelessness, and the stare-off continued.   
  
Most of the lights were turned off and the only illumination in the room came from the lamps on the bedside table and the desk. A book sat beside her on the bed--she'd obviously been reading before he'd interrupted her night.   
  
The glow from the lamps caused her silver hair to radiate, its metallic strands sparkling in the light every time she turned her head. The beauty of it took Seifer's breath away. Her gray eyes were downcast and she was avoiding his gaze--playing with the edges of the blanket between her fingers. Because of the lack of light in the room, part of her face was covered in shadows, but it didn't detract from her beauty. In fact, it made her nose seem even more dainty than usual and it emphasized the peak in her upper lips, making them appear fuller. They'd always been a light rosy shade but because of the darkness, they appeared almost mauve.   
  
She glanced quickly up at him, meeting his eyes. When she realized that he'd been staring at her the entire time, a blush spread across her cheeks, causing Seifer's train of thought to wander into territory that was completely new and slightly inappropriate--or at least, he assumed it was inappropriate, considering he’d never thought about her this way before.  
  
"Fuu...you're beautiful. Has anyone ever told you that?" Seifer said quietly, his voice a deep rumble.  
  
Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open.  
  
"...What?" she asked softly.  
  
"Last night, when Rinoa came into my room in Deling...nothing happened. You know that, right? Raijin said you were upset about it. Why didn't you just ask me?"  
  
She hastily looked away, her eyes darting around the room, focusing on anything and everything that wasn't him.  
  
"Fujin, why didn't you ask me about it?" Seifer pressed.  
  
She shook her head slowly, her eyes settling on inspecting the carpet.  
  
"How am I supposed to know if you're upset if you never talk to me?" Seifer asked expectantly.  
  
She opened her mouth only to immediately close it again. Her eyes came up to meet his hesitantly, as she tried to find the courage to say what finally needed to be out in the open.  
  
"I...have no right...to ask you about her," she explained softly.   
  
He scoffed in disbelief and stood swiftly, stalking over to the bed. He bent down and pushed his fists into the comforter on opposite sides of her legs and leaned in, right up into her face.  
  
Personal space had never particularly been a concern of Seifer's but when he was intoxicated, any social cues went completely out the window. The tips of their noses nearly touched and he quietly murmured, "Bullshit. You have every right."  
  
Her eyebrows drew together, causing her forehead to crease up.   
  
"That's...not true," she protested.  
  
He was so incredibly close. Fujin's heart was pounding and her hands were clammy; Seifer had never gotten this close to her before. Sure, she'd seen him get up in people's faces as he was threatening them, but never her--and definitely not for this type of reason.  
  
"So explain to me why it isn't true. I'm curious," he challenged.  
  
Fujin tried to lean back, away from Seifer. She needed space to organize her thoughts and having him so close was distracting. As she attempted to scoot back, Seifer placed his knee on the mattress, leaning his weight forward so that he could follow her.  
  
She placed her hands on his chest and lightly pushed against him, desperate for some distance between them.  
  
"BACK," she said sternly.  
  
Instead of listening, Seifer clambered onto the bed and plopped down right in front of her, folding his legs Indian style. Fujin sighed--why was Seifer always so...Seifer-ish, when she didn't want him to be?   
  
"Talk," Seifer demanded.  
  
She narrowed her eyes at him, irritated that he was trying to rush her. A few moments of silence passed between them and Seifer waved his hand at Fujin impatiently, prompting her to speak.  
  
"I...have no right because...what you do with Rinoa, or anyone else...is none of my business. I just...support you, whatever you decide to do," she explained, her voice soft and timid--so unlike Fujin.  
  
"That doesn't mean you have no right to ask me, Fuu. If you're upset about something, then just tell me! You shouldn't feel like you have to keep it all inside. You're always there for me. I expect you to know that I'm always here for you, too," Seifer chastised.  
  
Fujin shook her head lightly.  
  
"I was upset...for reasons...that were unacceptable," she said, hesitantly.  
  
"Reasons that were unacceptable? Like what?"  
  
She didn't respond and simply placed her hands in her lap, twirling her thumbs around each other.  
  
Seifer reached out and placed his hand on top of hers, forcing her to still her movements. Fujin tensed, unused to the physical contact--especially from Seifer. She couldn't remember the last time he touched her, voluntarily or not.  
  
"Fuu, what reasons?"   
  
She swallowed loudly, bracing herself for his inevitable reaction to what her response would be. Even though he was drunk and she knew that he probably wouldn't remember this conversation in the morning, if she didn't get everything out now...then it would never be said.  
  
"Jealous. I was jealous...of you and Rinoa...in the same room together. I thought...that maybe she had come...for different reasons. I know she's with Squall, like you said. But...I didn't know...what your feelings were towards her. I didn't know...if you'd gotten over...the past," Fujin admitted, squeezing her eyes shut in anticipation of Seifer's laughter at her emotions. Or his anger, it could go either way.  
  
When Seifer didn't say anything after a couple minutes, Fujin slowly cracked one of her eyes open. His vivid cerulean eyes bore into hers, his gaze so intense that she gasped in surprise. He had a look on his face that she'd only seen once before, a long time ago, and it had been directed at someone else.

The look on Seifer's face at the moment was a look that she recognized mostly because she'd seen it on others--Squall, when he looked at Rinoa for example. Seifer however, had only worn that expression during the summer that he and Rinoa had briefly dated. What Fujin didn't understand now though, was why Seifer was looking at her that way.

Seifer had always been handsome--especially to Fujin--regardless of the fact that she'd never admitted it to anyone. He had been handsome before Squall had carved that scar into his face, he was still handsome even after bitterness and anger at Ultimecia twisted his features into something more harsh, and he was especially handsome now when he looked at her the way he was at this moment in time.   
  
He had always been more rugged in his attractiveness than Squall. Squall had a softer face, even when he was permanently scowling at people. Somehow, people saw past his closed expression and chose to remain by Squall's side anyway. Seifer had always been...rougher in his appearance. He never seemed as irritated at the world as Squall had, at least not before the events that had happened a few months ago. But everyone still tended to avoid him because he was so much more intense. His face had always been more mature, more...manly--at least in Fujin's opinion.  
  
Their eyes were still connected, a moment passing between them, and neither one of them were willing to ruin the moment by being the one to break away first. Seifer slowly reached up and grazed her cheek with the back of his hand, the gentle touch so unlike him, that Fujin shivered.   
  
Seifer wasn't oblivious, after all, he _was_ a man. He knew why Fujin reacted that way, even if she wasn't willing to say the reason out loud.   
  
He trailed his hand down from her cheek to trace the outline of her lips and she parted them slightly, unable to control her reaction to his touch. At an excruciatingly slow pace, Seifer leaned in, his eyes now focused on her mouth, and gently pressed his lips to hers.   
  
At first, Fujin didn't respond. She didn't know how to. Her mind took a few extra moments to process how incredibly soft Seifer's lips were--softer than she imagined they would be. When he insistently pressed them against hers a little harder, hoping for a reaction of some kind, her instincts finally kicked in.  
  
She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, attempting to get closer. Fujin didn't have much experience in kissing men though--her thoughts had always been of Seifer, so she was a little clumsy at it, bumping against his teeth occasionally.   
  
He broke away and laughed quietly, caressing her hair softly in an attempt to calm her down. He ran his fingers through the gorgeous silver strands, admiring the way they glittered in the faint light.  
  
"Slowly, Fuu. We don't have to rush this," he whispered.  
  
She blushed, embarrassed that she had no idea what to do. It wasn't a feeling she was familiar with and she frowned, frustrated at her own inexperience.  
  
His thumb brushed against her bottom lip, and he smiled tenderly at her reaction.   
  
Quietly, he asked, "Do you want to try again?"  
  
She glanced back up at him, her grey eyes ambivalent. She shifted her weight onto her shins so that she could sit straight up, and tentatively leaned in towards him. He remained completely still, allowing her to dictate the pace to what she was comfortable with.   
  
When she reached the point where their lips were almost touching, she froze, too nervous to fully commit. Seifer slowly brought his hands up to rest on her shoulders, as if he were asking permission to take over. She met his gaze and held it intently, nodding subtly.  
  
He tilted his head down and delicately placed his lips on hers again. The kiss was more gentle than the last, if that were possible.   
  
Fujin took the time to really explore what the kiss did to her, how it made her feel. When Seifer's tongue lightly teased the entrance to her mouth, asking her to trust him, she obeyed and he swept in, overtaking her. She gasped at the sensation, her body tingling in anticipation, and he took the opportunity to really deepen the kiss. He caressed her tongue with his as he simultaneously did the same with his hands, rubbing her arms lightly. She could taste a faint hint of whisky on his tongue, which didn't surprise her.  
  
She had always imagined that kissing him would be perfect, but this...this exceeded every expectation she had. Every dream she'd experienced paled in comparison to the real thing.  
  
Finally, they broke apart for air and Seifer rested his forehead on Fujin's, his chest rising and falling deeply, as he tried to catch his breath.  
  
"Holy shit, Fujin...," he trailed off.  
  
She nodded languidly in agreement, still in shock over what had happened between them.  
  
He bolted upright and stared at her, as if truly seeing her for the first time. With what they’d just shared, she was no longer just Fujin, one of his closest friends. She was Fujin--the woman who had always cared about him. She was in every single memory, good and bad. She was always there in the background but not as just a static object; as something real and tangible, right beside him, no matter what. Now, he knew that she had been there because she had always only had eyes for him.  
  
The realization slammed into him, and he stood suddenly, faltering in his haste to get off the bed. She rose up onto her knees, reaching out to him in confusion at his abrupt departure.   
  
"Seifer?" she asked, puzzled.  
  
He ran his hands through his hair and shook his head, trying to clear the fuzziness from his thoughts.  
  
"Fujin, I...I'm sorry. I should go," he muttered, hastily heading over to the door.  
  
Fujin leapt off the bed and lunged for him, grabbed his arm roughly.  
  
"NO," she stated, breathless with desperation.  
  
He looked back at her, his expression filled with sorrow, his voice strained with emotion.  
  
"I've taken you for granted all these years. Now, here I am, taking advantage of you. I can't do this, not when I'm...I need to go," he argued.  
  
Fujin shook her head frantically, not wanting him to walk out that door and forget everything that had happened between them by tomorrow morning.  
  
"PLEASE," she begged.  
  
Seifer's face fell, knowing that Fujin was never one to beg, not unless she truly felt that there was no other option. He looked away from her and they stood there at an impasse--Fujin refusing to let his arm go and Seifer immobile, unable to pull his arm away because he knew it would hurt her emotionally.   
  
He swallowed roughly, feeling his throat close up.  
  
"I'll stay. But...we're just going to go to sleep, okay?" he whispered, and looked back at her, meeting her gaze.  
  
Her eyes were stormy and dark but her expression was hopeful, and she nodded slightly. Seifer shrugged out of his coat, tossing it onto the back of the chair that was tucked underneath the desk. He trudged back towards the bed, his feet shuffling wearily against the carpet.   
  
All of a sudden he was hit with a wave of exhaustion and he sunk down onto the bed, kicking his boots off. Fujin hesitantly walked over to the other side and sat down, her back facing him.   
  
"Fujin. If this is weird, I really can go," he offered gently, worried that she was panicking on the inside and refusing to show it.  
  
Her hair swayed back and forth as she shook her head in denial.  
  
"NO. STAY," she mumbled.  
  
He brought one of his legs up onto the bed, propping his elbow on his knee. He sighed quietly, resigned to his fate. He'd have to lay next to Fujin all night like a good boy, on his best behavior, when all he wanted to do at the moment was kiss her again.   
  
He knew they both had some thoughts to sort through; he had to think about how he truly felt about her and she obviously was still hung up over the fact that they'd actually kissed. Sleeping in her room probably wasn't going to help any of that confusion but he couldn't turn and walk out that door when she'd asked him to stay.  
  
He lowered himself down onto the bed, lying flat on his back, and crossed one of his ankles over the other. When Fujin still hadn't laid down, he glanced over at her, noticing that she was still tense by the tightness of her shoulders. He reached out and gently placed his hand on her back and she jumped, startled at the contact.  
  
"Fujin, I don't bite. You can lay down now," he teased.  
  
Her shoulders loosened and she turned to face him, flustered. He could tell she was nervous and he interlaced his fingers, resting his hands on his stomach in an unassuming position. At this point, there was probably nothing that could reassure Fujin--she just had to lay down when she was good and ready.   
  
She shyly spread herself out next to him on the bed, lowering her head down onto her pillow. She was facing him but her eyes were looking elsewhere. He reached his right hand out to her, palm up, in an invitation he was hoping she'd accept.   
  
Her eyes flashed up to his in surprise from underneath her thick lashes. The lamp's rays reflected off of her eyes, causing the normally light grey to turn a rich gunmetal shade that was stunning. She gingerly placed her hand in his and he closed his fingers, grasping her palm tightly.   
  
His eyes drifted shut and his breaths slowed as he promptly fell asleep. Fujin studied his face closely--he looked so much more at peace like this. It was heart wrenching to know that he reached that seemingly unattainable serenity, when he was completely unaware of it. Day in and day out, she watched him continually struggle to reach this exact state of mind when he was conscious. She found herself wishing that she could help him remain this way forever.  
  
She laid her other hand on his cheek, cradling it carefully, so that she wouldn't wake him. A soft and gentle smile graced her lips and she let her eyes close as well, her mind finally at rest.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lasjflajsfa, finally! Progression! I died while writing the kiss scene. Died. I love these two so much. Let me know what you guys thought of it!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seifer comes to a decision regarding the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a bit longer to upload than usual. I had originally written an intense scene and it was beta'd and everything, but as I read it once more, I realized a lot needed to happen before the story reached that point. Due to my beta's advice, that chapter was essentially pushed to the future and I had to write a filler chapter. That filler chapter, ended up being 20+ pages and was consequently, split into chapters six and seven.
> 
> So here we are. This chapter is incredibly short (probably my shortest of this story so far) and seven is rather long. Then there's the new 'filler' chapter eight, and then finally, we'll get to the 'intense' chapter. After that, will be the conclusion! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's been a great journey (pun-intended) :)
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and the next, and that it'll tide you over until I get eight written. It's giving me grief at the moment.
> 
> Thanks to my beta, Arenoptara. Enjoy.

Sunlight filtered through Fujin's sheer curtains and flitted across Seifer's face, the warmth of the rays, intense. The inside of his eyelids glowed a bright red, instead of the complete blackness that he preferred, especially since he was still sleeping. He groaned and threw his arm over his eyes, rolling to his side to escape the brilliance that had arrived far too early, in his opinion.

At Garden, they'd always been forced to wake up at the asscrack of dawn. Now that he had the freedom to sleep in, he tried to take advantage of that, every chance he got. Unfortunately today, that didn't seem like it was going to happen.

He drifted in and out of sleep, stuck in that limbo that never truly let anyone rest. His head felt like a million Grats were stomping across his mind, their every step causing it to pound. He cracked his eyes open, giving up on getting any more sleep, and was met with the sight of the back of Fujin's head, her silver hair glinting in the daylight.

He laid there for a moment or so, admiring the way the strands seemed to glitter. They appeared almost metallic, which was incredible. How had he never noticed their luster before? How had he never noticed  _her_  radiance?

Or had he, and he'd simply taken it for granted, like he'd admitted the night before?

He reached out and he gently caressed her hair, the individual strands softly flowing between his fingers. Every time he lifted them up, closer to the light, the pale strands sparkled while the darker strands became more prominent. He'd always thought her hair was just straight silver, but it had this surprising depth to it that was stunning.  _She_ was stunning.

_Hell, it's first thing in the morning and I already sound like a sap_.

Fujin rolled over then and cracked her eye open, gazing up at Seifer groggily. He froze, his hand poised above her, where it had been playing with her hair.

"...MORNING," she greeted him, her voice raspy and in Seifer's opinion, incredibly sexy.

"Morning, Fuu."

She studied him, trying to gauge his mood after last night. Seifer smiled slightly, not quite ready to talk about it just yet, before he too rolled over and rose from the bed. When he tilted his neck from side to side, it popped loudly and he groaned in satisfaction. Since Fujin slept with the heavier curtains open, but the sheer curtains drawn-- _That's why it was so fuckin' bright-_ -he wandered over to the window to buy some time, brushing one of the drapes aside to peer out at the ocean beyond the docks.

Mentally, he debated whether he wanted to head down to breakfast now or wait for Fujin. If he waited, he'd have to explain to Raijin why they were coming down together. Although, knowing how Raijin could be oblivious most of the time, he wondered if his friend would even notice.

The sound of Fujin sliding her body over the comforter caused Seifer to turn back to the bed, and he saw her getting up as well. She did a full body stretch, and pivoted around to face Seifer, her arms linked behind her back.

"EAT?"

Apparently, the decision had been made for him.

"Yeah, sure. That sounds good," he replied, and ambled over to the door.

"WAIT."

Seifer twisted around as Fujin disappeared into the bathroom. A short sigh left his lips; he'd forgotten that women took forever in the mornings. Five minutes later-Seifer could've sworn it was years-she emerged and he pulled the door open for her, following her out into the hall.

They walked down to the restaurant in silence, neither one of them wanting to be the first to bring up the night before. In Fujin's case, she knew she had to let Seifer approach the subject, otherwise she'd look like a whiny little girl who wanted to know 'where they stood'. She'd never been  _that girl_ , and she wasn't about to start now. Seifer, on the other hand, didn't even know how to begin to broach the subject. Did he just casually ask, 'Hey, so when we kissed last night...' or did he say, 'About that kiss we shared ...'

_Shit, this is awkward,_ he thought to himself.

Raijin was already sitting at their usual table when they arrived-- _Just our luck-_ -and he didn't say anything about them walking in together, for which Seifer was grateful. Whether it was because he hadn't caught on, or whether it was because he knew better than to ask, Seifer didn't care. He'd take either reason.

Their waitress brought out their regular orders-- _Doesn't she have a life other than working here?_ \--and they sat in more silence, though this time, it wasn't quite companionable. It was...awkward, stiff. Seifer and Fujin avoided looking at each other and Raijin kept glancing between the two.

Tentatively, he asked, "Uh...you two okay?"

"FINE."

"Yeah, everything's just dandy."

Raijin glanced at both of them and shrugged. "Okay...if you say so, ya know?"

Seifer peeked over at Fujin, who had been staring at him. When their eyes met, she glanced away quickly and Seifer cleared his throat, feeling awkward that he'd been caught looking at her.

They ate wordlessly, and Seifer decided to take the opportunity to dissect what had happened between him and Fujin last night. He'd been drunk, so a large portion of it was pretty hazy. He remembered most of the major events though, such as the kiss.

_Jesus, that kiss…_  Seifer reflected wistfully.

Fujin had all but admitted her feelings for him, when she'd said that she'd been jealous of him and Rinoa. That had been unexpected, and he wasn't sure what to make of that. Then, he'd told her that she had every right to know about  _his_  life. What had he really meant by  _that_? It'd been a spur of the moment thing, but he'd basically given her the go ahead to ask for clarification for  _anything_ , if it made her upset. That was generally something couples shared...right?

Were they a couple then?

Seifer shook his head vigorously. One kiss did  _not_  make two people a couple. But now, he knew that Fujin was possibly in love with him-she probably had been since they were kids. No, she'd never openly admitted it, but she'd been there with him through everything. The good, the bad, the seriously ugly. She'd picked him up off the floor after every failure, had been his cheerleader whenever he needed one, his shoulder to lean on if he needed comfort...she was  _everything_. Why would she stick around through all that, if she  _didn't_  love him? How had he never realized that before?

Then...did that mean he loved her too?

He sighed in frustration and squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing his eyelids with his thumbs. It was too early in the day for thoughts this deep. What he did know though, with utter certainty, was that he couldn't even begin to confront his 'relationship'-or whatever the hell it was-with Fujin until the last chapter of his life was completely over and done with.

That meant returning to Garden. Which also meant apologizing to everyone he'd grown up with, and eventually screwed over. Which in turn, meant a lot of uncomfortable situations for him. He sighed again, resigned to facing the consequences of his actions, and glanced up at Fujin and Raijin.

"I'm going back to Garden," he announced unexpectedly.

They had both been turned in opposite directions, but when he spoke, they swung their heads around to face him. Fujin simply blinked her uncovered eye at him and didn't say anything, her face blank. Raijin's eyes widened and he exclaimed, "Forever?!"

Seifer rolled his eyes at his friend's lack of common sense. "No you idiot, not forever. They'd never take me back anyway. I'm just...I have to get some closure. I think we all need that in order to move on, for good."

Fujin nodded understandingly and quietly asked, "TOGETHER?"

He met her gaze, his cerulean eyes apologetic. "No. I have to do this alone."

She lowered her gaze and focused on the plate of food in front of her, as she nodded again.

Raijin watched as her shoulders drooped and her head remained on her chest, hiding her face from Seifer's view. He studied her for a moment, before he turned to Seifer and told him softly, "We'll be here, ya know? We'll wait for ya, no matter how long it takes."

Seifer smiled and laughed fondly, as he pushed his chair back from the table. He took a few steps towards the exit and paused, looking back at his friends. Raijin was watching him walk away, and Fujin had turned to gaze out the window.

"I know you will," Seifer whispered.

Unable to stick around any longer, he swiftly walked out of the restaurant and headed back upstairs. After he let himself into his room, he hastily grabbed his gloves off of the desk, and Hyperion from where it was leaned up against the wall. He wrenched the door back open and sped down the hall, taking the steps two at a time on his way down. Without so much as a backwards glance at the restaurant, he left the hotel and headed down the street towards Balamb's front gate.

When he passed the restaurant's open windows, against his better judgment, he glanced out of the corner of his eye to where he knew they always sat. Fujin was still looking out the window and he caught her eye. His chest tightened when he saw her expression, so lost and forlorn, and her eye widened when she saw him. He hastily turned, breaking eye contact, and kept walking to the town entrance, embarrassed that he'd been caught looking.

As he neared the archway, he heard footsteps rapidly tapping against the cobblestones and sped up, anxious to get out of town and avoid any sort of awkward goodbye. A hand gripped the sleeve of his coat tightly and jerked him backwards, causing him to stumble.

"What the hell!" he shouted, and swung around to glare at whoever dared to grab him like that-which could only be one of two people. Fujin stood there, her chest heaving with every breath she took. She stared up at him, her expression fierce.

"WAIT."

"Yeah, I kind of gathered that you wanted me to wait. What do you want, Fujin?!"

"...GOODBYE."

"Tch...I'm not gonna be gone forever. Seriously, I'll only be there for a few days at the most, if that," he explained, annoyed at her behavior.

Her face fell and she looked down at her boots, losing the ferocious determination she'd had just a second ago. She mumbled something under her breath and Seifer leaned in.

"What? I couldn't hear you."

"Don't go," she whispered.

Seifer's irritation dissipated instantly at her words. He sighed and reached out to brush her hair behind her ear, and she glanced up at him when he touched her.

"I promise I'll be back, Fuu. But I have to go, I have to do this," he said, his voice low.

Their eyes met for a moment and his bright turquoise eyes bore into her slate grey one intently. He hesitantly reached out to touch her, as if to reassure her that he  _would_  return, but dropped his arm at the last minute. Awkwardly, he shuffled his feet and stared down at the bricks in the plaza, unsure of what else he could say to make the situation easier. The tips of her boots came into his line of sight and he glanced up at her. surprised that she'd moved closer. He held her gaze and eventually, she nodded in acceptance and he straightened, relieved that she hadn't said anything.

He'd never been very good at saying goodbye. He didn't want her to misunderstand anything he might haphazardly blurt out in an attempt to make things less awkward. So instead, he swiftly pivoted on his heel and walked out of Balamb, never once looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry it's so short. It needed to happen because it leads into chapter seven, so I couldn't just skip it :( Leave a comment in the box below! Thanks :3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seifer returns to Balamb Garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that to some, the timeline of my story may feel rushed, but it is only a ten-chapter fic. If I had planned on making it much longer, I would've drawn this out for sure. So keep that in mind as you read through this chapter and the next. The story spans across the better part of about eight to nine months.
> 
> Chapters eight and nine are both finished and beta'd, so I'll probably post eight this weekend and nine sometime next week. I'm currently working on the final chapter, and it's definitely bittersweet to be at the end :')
> 
> Thanks to my beta, Arenoptara. I'd also like to thank a couple people on here for continuing to read this story. To blanklikepaper, Tobimaru, Matthew_Fullbright (:3), thank you so much! It means everything to me. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy!

The rubber soles of his boots crunched on the asphalt path that wound around the turn of the mountain. Balamb’s climate was usually relatively temperate, but today was chillier than usual. Thankfully, Seifer had his trenchcoat on, and it lessened the bite of the wind. The blades of grass in the meadow rustled from the gusts that blew through the valley, and he watched them waver, his mind plagued with thoughts.

Fujin had been pretty upset when he’d left, and he didn’t quite understand why. He knew that they’d left things unspoken between them, but he had promised to return. He _would_ return. She’d been so uncharacteristically vulnerable, that he’d been unsure how to handle it. Crying women were difficult to deal with in general, and he’d never been good at it. Seeing _Fujin_ that way was something he’d rather not experience. So like a coward, he’d run out of there as fast as possible.

He hadn’t been able to explain very well why he had to return to Garden, but he hoped that Fujin and Raijin understood. He couldn’t live with himself if this guilt continued to haunt him. Pride had always been one of his biggest faults, but he knew that in order to move on, both with himself and with Fujin, this was something he needed to do--as much as it killed him to admit that. The plan was, he'd waltz into Garden, say his apologies, then waltz back out. There weren’t any other reasons for him to stick around any longer than a few hours.

An hour or two later, he was standing on Balamb Garden's front steps, peering through the wrought iron gate that marked the beginning of the grounds. At the moment, the Garden was parked in its original location on the continent. The golden ring that kept it afloat was rotating slowly above it at the moment, rather than below. Seifer stared at it, enraptured by the hypnotic rhythm of the spinning motion. After he took a couple of deep breaths, he finally pushed the gate open and it squeaked in protest-- _Apparently, they still haven’t oiled these damn things_ \--as he walked in. He closed it securely behind him and slowly trudged down the entryway that led to the front gate, thankful for the fact that Garden seemed pretty empty at the moment.   
  
_It is pretty early_ , he thought.  
  
It was technically prior to the official start of the day, so when Seifer arrived at the security checkpoint, the gates were still shut--all the lights on the consoles were red, instead of green. The gatekeeper was asleep in his booth, his head nodded off to the side. Seifer strode up to the window and knocked firmly, in three short bursts.  
  
The man's head shot straight up and he looked around frantically. When his eyes found Seifer, they widened and he scrambled for the mouthpiece. After he finally found it, he fumbled with it, nearly dropping it a couple times, before he exclaimed, "What the hell do you want?!"  
  
Seifer put one hand on his hip and placed Hyperion tip-first into the mortar between the bricks, leaning on its handle.

"Hi to you too, old man. Is Rinoa or Quistis here?"  
  
"I ain't gonna tell you," he replied in a snarky tone.  
  
Seifer looked away and sighed in frustration. "Look, I'm not going to cause trouble, okay? Can you just call one of them down here?" he asked, testily.   
  
The gatekeeper's eyes narrowed at him before he picked up a different walkie talkie, and spoke into it. Since he wasn't using the mouthpiece, Seifer couldn't hear what he was saying, but the man made sure Seifer knew how displeased he was at being ordered around by _him_ , of all people. Expressions could speak volumes.  
  
Finally, the gatekeeper set the walkie talkie back down and picked the mouthpiece back up. "Yeah, they're coming down, alright."  
  
 _What the hell is that supposed to mean?_  
  
"Yeah, thanks," Seifer muttered reluctantly, and moved to stand by one of the gates, leaning on that instead and placing Hyperion against his hip.   
  
He tapped his foot to fill the silence as he waited, and eventually, a figure emerged in the distance. They looked like they had relatively dark hair, so Seifer assumed that it was Rinoa that had come down. Strange that he couldn't see her blue duster from where he was though, that thing was as bright and noticeable as a neon sign.

  
As they neared, Seifer realized he couldn't see her duster because the person wasn't wearing a blue duster. They were wearing black leather--a _lot_ of black leather.   
  
_Ah, shit...Squall._  
  
He straightened and left Hyperion pointed at the ground, hoping it would help him appear less antagonistic, if that were even possible. When Squall Leonhart finally reached the opposite side of the entrance gates, he planted his feet firmly apart, arms crossed, as he stared Seifer down, his gaze fierce.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Squall interrogated, in a low and foreboding tone.   
  
His voice was deeper than Seifer remembered it being. He had no idea what Squall had been up to since Ultimecia was defeated, but knowing the way life seemed to work, he probably had even more responsibilities than before.

"I wanted to talk," he replied, as he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Talk? Seriously?" Squall asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, talk.”

“To _whom_?” 

"Rinoa, Quistis, whoever. Hadn't really planned on seeing _you_ just yet," Seifer mumbled.  
  
"What makes you think I'd send _Rinoa_ down to the front gate to talk to _you_?" Squall needled.  
  
Seifer sighed again, tired of being grilled like he'd already screwed something up.  
  
"Hey, I just came to get some closure, okay? Whether that means I have to talk to every single one of you individually and then write a ten page apology letter, then whatever. But I came here to apologize," he said vehemently.  
  
Squall's dark, steel blue eyes narrowed perceptively at Seifer, as he tried to figure out whether or not he was being serious. At last, he turned to the gatekeeper and nodded subtly at him. The light on the console closest to Seifer changed from red to green and Squall pulled the gate towards him, meeting Seifer's gaze in a silent invitation.  
  
Seifer's eyes widened in surprise, he didn't think it was going to be _that_ easy.  
  
"Rinoa says I should give you a chance, so you might want to thank her. Trust me, if it were up to me, I wouldn't have let you back in," Squall told him sternly, as he turned to walk to the main lobby.  
  
"Fair enough," Seifer muttered under his breath. He sped up to stand beside Squall, nearly brushing against the other man’s shoulder. He didn’t necessarily want to walk side by side with his former rival, but he’d be damned if he ever walked _behind_ Squall.   
  
The pair of them painted quite the picture, as they walked alongside each other. Both men were tall, but Seifer stood slightly higher than Squall at six foot two, compared to Squall's five foot ten. Other than their similar heights, they were nearly complete opposites. Squall's hair had always been long, dark, and a bit unruly. Seifer preferred to keep his blonde hair short and out of his face. While both of their eyes were blue, Squall's were darker in shade, resembling the color of the sea when it was ravaged by a storm. Seifer's eyes had always been much brighter, instead resembling the shade of blue that Rinoa's duster was--a more vibrant turquoise almost. Then there were their mirroring scars that marred their otherwise handsome faces, caused by the foolish, hot-blooded hands of the other.  
  
Seifer mused while Squall ‘escorted’ him inside Garden. While he was still a pretty depressing kind of guy, Seifer could tell that Squall was a little more approachable than he'd been before. For one thing, he'd said way more words to him in that small conversation a few minutes ago, than he had in the past, over the entire span of a year.  
  
When they finally arrived, and the familiar sounds of fountains feeding into the pond that circled the lobby reached his ears, a fond smile graced Seifer's lips. He paused and let his gaze travel around the place that had once been his home. His eyes went from the larger pool of water that ran along the outer edge, to the entrances that led to each separate wing, and finally to the elevator right in the middle of the area. He was surprised to find that he felt little to no anger or bitterness, no resentment whatsoever.    
  
This was why he'd come back, to find peace with it all.   
  
He met Squall's eyes accidentally when he swung his gaze around the room, and was startled to find that Squall had been watching him attentively, as he'd taken in the sights.   
  
"What?" Seifer pressed.  
  
Squall shrugged and turned around, climbing the steps to the elevator. He looked back over his shoulder at Seifer and said, "Never thought I'd see you look at the place like that."  
  
"Tsk...yeah, yeah. So where we going?" he asked, disconcerted that Squall had figured out his emotions so easily.  
  
Squall pressed the button to call the elevator down, and it swiftly descended to the lobby. As the doors slid open silently, they shuffled into it and then they zoomed upwards again.  
  
"Isn't it obvious? I don’t want you wandering around and scaring cadets, so we’re going up to my office," Squall stated, his arms still firmly crossed over his chest.  
  
"Wow, movin' on up in the world, huh?" Seifer asked, sarcastically.  
  
"...Whatever."  
  
Seifer chuckled to himself and Squall shifted his weight uncomfortably. It was almost as if things had never happened between them. Rinoa must've spoken to Squall because he was acting far too casual for seeing his rival again so unexpectedly, and there was no way he'd forgive Seifer so easily.   
  
When they reached the third floor and the elevator doors opened, Squall strided out confidently, towards the double doors that led to apparently, what was now his office. He reached out and pushed the doors open and when the office was revealed, Seifer saw Rinoa sitting on the desk, her legs swinging underneath her. The large, picturesque glass window loomed behind her, the view of the ocean in the far distance breathtaking.

Squall's eyes narrowed in mock irritation when he saw Rinoa, but it was obviously softened by the affection he felt for her.  
  
"Rinoa...what have I said about sitting on my desk?" he chastised.  
  
She giggled and hopped off, nearly skipping over to them.  
  
"I was only sitting on it for a minute," she teased. She glanced over at Seifer and her smile fell slightly, though her expression was still open. "Hey Seifer."  
  
"Yeah, hi."  
  
"It's nice to see you again so soon. I didn't think you'd come to visit."  
  
"Uh...I'm not really visiting...just…" he trailed off.  
  
Her smile returned full blast and she tilted her head up at him, like she always had in the past.  
  
"Don't worry, I understand," she said quietly, and ambled back to Squall's desk, as Squall sat down in the plush, emerald green leather chair behind it. If he was bothered by the fact that his girlfriend--or whatever she technically was now--seemed to still know Seifer so well, he didn't show it.  
  
Instead, he pulled the microphone that had been on the corner of his desk closer, pressing the large button on the base.  
  
"Attention Balamb Garden. Will SeeD members Irvine Kinneas, Zell Dincht, Selphie Tilmitt, and Instructor Trepe come to the Commander's office? Thanks."  
  
Rinoa laughed lightly and shook her head.  
  
"We really need to work on your announcement skills, Commander," she teased Squall.  
  
He rolled his eyes and leaned back into his chair. "Whatever."  
  
Seifer watched their exchange with his arms crossed over his chest, feeling slightly annoyed and out of place. He never thought he'd see Squall act so nonchalantly toward someone, let alone get an actual girlfriend. It was even more ironic that his girlfriend was someone that Seifer had dated as well. They were forever cursed to circle around each other. Even back then, and especially now, Squall was the one who had it all. Seifer was still being left behind.  
  
The wooden doors to Squall's office burst open, and the entire gang sauntered in. When they saw Seifer standing by Squall's desk, they all froze.  
  
"What the hell, Squall?! What's _he_ doing here?!" Zell shouted, as he pointed at Seifer heatedly.  
  
Irvine just stared and Selphie’s eyes darted back and forth between Squall and Seifer. Quistis had composed herself rather quickly, probably because she'd seen him only a few days ago. The fact that he was in Garden, in Squall's office of all places, was what had shocked her initially.  
  
"Hey Chicken-wuss. Haven't changed much, I see," Seifer harassed Zell.  
  
Zell crouched and clenched his fists, his entire body shaking with frustration. Rinoa stepped over to Seifer and hesitantly whispered, "Probably not the best way to start apologizing, Seifer."  
  
Seifer dragged his hand through his hair and sighed. This apology shit was a lot of work.  
  
"You're right. Sorry...Zell." _Damn it, that's weird._   
  
Silence was the response to his statement, and he shifted uncomfortably. As if sensing that this conversation wasn't going to go anywhere, anytime soon, Squall stood abruptly and walked around the desk to lean against it, next to Rinoa. He glanced at her and held her gaze for a moment, before finally turning back to the group.  
  
"Okay, here's how the situation stands. Rinoa thinks that Seifer is actually sorry for what happened, and that we should give him a second chance."  
  
Zell scoffed and Irvine and Selphie mumbled under their breaths at each other. Quistis merely looked at Seifer for a moment, and then back at Squall.  
  
"I know how you guys feel. But Rinoa’s always been a pretty good judge of people, or so I like to think."  
  
Seifer's eyes flashed to Squall's, unsure of where he was going with this.

“Anyway, forgiveness isn’t something that’s easily handed out. But...I’ll give you a chance to try,” Squall finished and turned to Seifer.

Seifer cleared his throat uneasily and shifted in place. _How the hell did you follow that up with a good apology?_

“...Uh...I know I’ve tried to kill each and every one of you, at _least_ once. Guess I’m sorry for that. I uh, shit...I’m sorry for betraying you, too. Couldn’t really give two shits about betraying Garden though, but whatever. I guess I...I’ve been thinkin’ a lot lately and...there’s a lot of shit I regret. Maybe I shouldn’t have picked the other side. There’s nothin’ I can do about that now. But yeah, sorry for almost destroying the whole damn world,” he rambled.

The silence that followed was so acute that Seifer felt like he could feel the oppression in the air. When none of them said anything, he dourly muttered, “I dunno, we could start over...or whatever.”

“Start over?! You didn’t even sound like you _meant_ any of that, and you have the nerve to suggest starting over?!” Zell exclaimed.

Irvine raised his arms and shrugged, his ponytail swaying back and forth as he shook his head. “I don’t think we can just _start over_. It’s not that easy.”

Selphie raised her legs behind her, one at a time, and played with the soles of her boots, before she turned to Seifer. “Well, starting over seems like a stretch. But I think we could at least try to be on good terms? That’s not so hard, right?”

Zell looked at Selphie incredulously. “Are you frickin’ kidding me right now?!”

Squall sighed and shook his head, glancing over at Seifer who was now looking at the ground, his eyebrows pinched together in annoyance at Zell’s behavior. It took a special kind of person to be able to deal with Zell on a daily basis, and Seifer had never been able to handle his...enthusiasm.

“Seifer, this isn’t going to be something that’ll happen in one day. We’re not all like Rinoa,” Squall said quietly.

Seifer pivoted swiftly to face the window, the tattered fringes of what used to be the bottom of his trench coat, swinging around behind him. He stared out at the ocean, and took a deep breath.

“I know. Whether you guys forgive me or not, it doesn’t really matter. I mean, it does but...forgiving myself, and getting that apology off my chest, was the most important part,” he muttered.

Rinoa’s lips turned upwards in a gentle smile and she looked over at Squall, nodding subtly as if to say, _I told you so_. Squall glanced at Seifer, staring at his back.

“Guys, will you give us a minute?” Squall asked the rest of the group.

Zell pushed his hand out in the air, and turned to walk out of the room. “Yeah, whatever.” Irvine followed him shortly after, and looked at Selphie from the doors. “Selph, you coming?”

Selphie looked at them before she turned back to stare at Seifer, as he continued to peer out the window. “Seifer, you’ll be here for a little bit, right?” she asked.

When he grunted in confirmation, she left with Zell and Irvine, the wooden doors swinging softly shut behind them. Squall looked at Quistis expectantly and they nodded once at each other, before she too left the office.

“Why’d you clear the room?” Seifer asked faintly.

Squall finally pushed off the desk, walking over to the window to stand by Seifer. “Because I wanted to talk to you, alone.”

Seifer glanced over at Squall before focusing on Rinoa. “Except, we’re _not_ alone?”

Rinoa rolled her eyes and wandered over to the far side of the room, playing with some books Squall had piled up on a shelf. “I won’t listen,” she called out.

Seifer scoffed under his breath before turning back to the window. _Like hell she won’t listen_ , he thought to himself, amused at how she hadn’t seemed to change one bit.

“Are you really here to apologize?” Squall questioned him.

He rolled his eyes before sighing. It felt like all he’d done since he got here was sigh.

“Yes,” he answered, irked.

“Why now?”

He looked down and ruffled his coat, grasping his lapels with his gloved hands.

“Long story short...Fujin.”

“Fujin? What does she have to do with any of this?” Squall asked, surprised at Seifer’s reasoning.

“Surprisingly, a lot. Stuff...happened and...I kind of decided that in order for things to change moving forward, I needed to find closure on the past,” Seifer explained.

“Closure, huh. Makes sense why you’d come to apologize, then.”

Seifer turned to face Squall, his expression serious. “So, do _you_ accept my apology?”

Squall held his gaze for a minute, and eventually turned to look out the window as well. “No,” he said curtly.

Seifer looked down, feeling his throat close up at the fact that Squall hadn’t hesitated. “Yeah, I guess I get why you don’t,” he muttered bitterly.

Squall held up his hand, his black leather gloves so similar to Seifer’s own, that the mirror image was bizarre. “No, let me clarify. A lot of shit has happened between us, more than the others. The biggest reason I can’t just forgive you, is because of what you did to Rinoa. Whether you were in control of yourself or not, the fact is that it still happened.”

Seifer nodded slightly and Squall continued, “But...for Rinoa’s sake...I’m willing to try to be civil, like Selphie suggested. I don’t think we’ll ever be drinking buddies or whatever, though.”

Seifer chuckled dryly, and nodded, turning back to the window. A few minutes of silence passed as they stood shoulder to shoulder, before he turned and headed for the door. “Fair enough. I’m leaving then. I’m stopping by the second floor deck first,” Seifer told Squall firmly.

“Back to telling and not asking, huh?” Squall asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Seifer headed over to the doors, waving his hand in the air casually, both as an answer to Squall’s question and a goodbye. The doors shut behind him and he got back into the elevator, pressing the round, clear button for ‘2F’.

When the elevator reached the second floor and the doors slid open, he walked out onto the bridgeway that led to the classrooms. About halfway across, he paused and looked over the edge, down at the lobby. The three of them as the Disciplinary Committee used to haunt this bridge every morning, harassing cadets as they rushed to class. He smiled fondly at the memory and pushed away from the half-wall, heading down the hall to the balcony. He shoved the heavy steel door open, and slowly wandered outside, stopping when he reached the railing.

The balcony was on the side of Garden that faced the town, and Seifer stood there with his arms braced against the railing, staring out at the silhouette of the buildings in the distance.

Life had changed so much in the past few months. It felt like eons ago that he’d been struggling to pass that damn SeeD exam, and actually accomplish something for the first time in his life. He’d never admit it to anyone, but he _had_ wanted to pass, as much as he tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal. It was irritating to hear, over and over, that you had the skill and training to pass, but your personality was lacking. Anyone who repeatedly heard that they were sub-par, was bound to grow bitter.

It might’ve just been an excuse, but Seifer thought that failing the SeeD exam that last time had been the catalyst to everything. His failure had left him with a sense of loss, almost like he’d no longer had a purpose in life. He’d always dreamt of being someone important, doing things that actually mattered. So to him, being a sorceresses’ knight _had_ been important. Hell, it’d been his dream.

Ironic then, that Squall had been the one to actually remain a _true_ sorceresses’ knight. Seifer used to feel bitter about that too but...it was starting to get exhausting being bitter about so many things.

That was the biggest reason he’d decided to try to find closure, to put all this behind him. If he continued to sit in his hotel room at night, tallying up all the things he could’ve done differently, all the things he regretted, he’d be old and grey before he achieved peace. Now that he’d finally realized how Fujin felt about him, it wouldn’t be fair of him to respond to her emotions when the majority of his mind was occupied by the past. If he’d taken the next step with her before coming to terms with everything, it would’ve been him, Fujin, and his _regrets_ in a relationship--which was just ridiculous.

Now that he’d gotten this apology out of the way, whether the rest of the orphanage gang accepted it or not, it had been said. That’s what he’d meant when he’d said that whether they forgave him or not wasn’t the point, it was that he’d offered. To Seifer, that was the most important part. He’d meant what he said, even if it wasn’t very eloquent. From this point on, he could move forward.

He gripped the steel pipe that ran along the edge of the balcony and leaned back, his arms holding all of his weight. Before he returned to town, he knew he should tackle the next item on the list--coming to terms with how he felt about Fujin. He understood by this point, that he _did_ have feelings for her. The fact that he’d sat and stared at her this morning while she slept, like a true creeper, was a great indicator of that. Then there was the fact that his thoughts kept returning to her, the entire time that he’d been gone.

The real question though, was whether he was ready to commit to a _relationship_ with her. Sure, they’d technically been together for ten or some odd years, but it wasn’t the same as actually being _together_. Hell, he didn’t even really know what being a good boyfriend entailed. There was that relationship with Rinoa, but summer romances were always looked back on fondly. He’d been different then, and Fujin was not Rinoa, which was a good thing.

Seifer supposed his lack of romantic experience didn’t really matter to Fujin though, because she knew him better than anyone else, she always had. He ran his gloved hand across his face and rested his chin on his palm, lost in his thoughts.

If he finally took the next step and told Fujin that he returned her feelings, what then? Would they continue on as they always had? What if things didn’t work out and they broke up? That would ruin the posse and he didn’t think he could bring himself to do that. But they couldn’t stay in this awkward limbo forever, Fujin deserved better than that. She deserved better than him.

_Why am I always stuck convincing myself that the women I’m interested in deserve better than me?_ he thought rancorously.

He threw his hands up in the air, frustrated.

_Fuck it. I’ll just tell her and we’ll wing it. It’ll turn out how it’s supposed to turn out, or whatever._

The steel door behind him creaked and Seifer turned his head slightly, towards the sound. Footsteps tapped on the balcony and long, slender fingers wrapped around the railing next to him.

“...Instructor,” he acknowledged.

Quistis laughed softly, the sound like tinkling bells. She tilted her head up at him and teased, “Seifer, you know you don’t have to call me that anymore. You didn’t in Deling.”

He shrugged. “I guess being here made me slip up.”

With a smile still on her face, she turned towards him and leaned her elbow against the railing. “So, did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“Your apology.”

“...yeah, I meant it.”

Quistis looked up at him expectantly. “Well? I didn’t get to hear _all_ of it.”

Seifer sighed and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. He hadn’t been serious when he’d told Squall he’d make individual apologies, that had been a sarcastic joke. Sadly, and much to his annoyance, that was what this was turning out to be. He hoped Squall didn’t think he’d actually write a ten-page apology letter, no way in hell.

In a gruff voice, he mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

Quistis’ eyebrows raised and she tilted her head at him again. “That’s it? I mean, you didn’t even specify what you were sorry for.”

Exasperated, he quickly spun around to face her. “You already heard most of it. You want me to go into detail again? Fine! I’m sorry for basically betraying you guys, I’m sorry for always being an ass, I’m sorry I almost destroyed the world. Am I leaving anything out?!”

She stared at him closely for a few seconds as he started pacing, running his hands through his hair in frustration. Finally she said, “That was better. More like the Seifer I used to know. It was still an apology though, and the Seifer from before would’ve never given one of those.”

He stopped on the other end of the balcony, gazing out at the beach and put his hands on his hips. “Yeah whatever. Like I said, I’m sorry.”

Slowly, she strolled over to stand beside him again and crossed her arms around her tiny frame. “I can tell.”

Seifer scoffed. “Is that sarcasm, Instructor?”

“No, I was being honest. And remember, it’s just Quistis now.”

He grunted, his gaze still fixated on the beach. Quistis followed his eyes and watched the waves roll onto the shore in the distance. She cleared her throat subtly and quietly suggested, “You know, you could stay for a little while.”

“And do what? It’s not like I’m a student, why the hell would I stick around?”

Quistis shrugged slightly and raised her arms, before they fell to her sides. “You could help with training cadets in the training center, or something along those lines.”

Seifer looked down, contemplating the idea. He knew what Quistis was doing, she was trying to give him the option to return to Garden for good. It was a nice gesture, and he was surprised that she’d offer the olive branch so soon but, this place was no longer his home.

“No. Thanks Ins-Quistis, but...I don’t belong here anymore.”

She nodded with a smile on her face, as if she’d expected him to deny her invitation. “I understand. Well at least stick around for today. I think Selphie wanted to talk to you, too. You should probably find Zell and Irvine as well. They’re a little less...receptive to your presence.”

_I knew it. Individual apologies. Fuck me, they’re really makin’ me work for it, aren’t they?_

He waved his hand in the air dismissively and crossed his arms again. Quistis turned and walked back to the door before pausing and glancing back at Seifer.

“Meet in the cafeteria in a few hours? I’ll tell Selphie to be there.”

“Yeah, sure.”

\----

The next few hours crawled by, since Seifer hung out on the balcony the entire time. He didn’t particularly want to wander around Garden and have everyone run in the opposite direction as soon as they saw him. When the sun looked like it was ready to fall below the horizon, and the wind had turned frigid, he went back inside.

He lazily stepped into the elevator and it raced down to the lobby. Leisurely, he descended the steps and as he leapt off the last one, he nearly crashed right into Selphie, who had come around the corner.

“Oof!”

“Jesus, watch where you’re going!”

She sprung up and brushed her skirt off, hopping up and down with her hands in the air.

“Seifer! Just who I was looking for!” she yelled excitedly, causing a few students nearby to whip their heads towards them when they heard his name.

“Could you be any louder?! Why the hell would you be lookin’ for me?” he asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Quistis said we were meeting in the cafeteria. You’re like, an hour late,” she tapped her foot on the marble floors, staring up at him expectantly. Seifer shrugged, not offering any kind of explanation and Selphie rolled her eyes.

“Well come on, I’m starving!” she exclaimed as she grabbed the end of his sleeve, dragging him towards the cafeteria.

Seifer froze and allowed her to pull him along, like he was some dog. Most people ran at the mere sight of him. He never expected Selphie to be so...welcoming.

“Uh, hey…,” he began, hesitantly.

“What?”

“Why _don’t_ you hate me, like the rest of them?”

Slowly, she let go of his sleeve and came to a stop in the middle of the lobby’s walkway. Students kept having to weave around them, since no one wanted to accidentally brush against Seifer.

When Selphie spoke, her voice was quiet and timid. “I never...hated...you. Like I said in Squall’s office, I really do think we could at least try to be civil to you. Forgiveness doesn’t come easily but we’ve gotta start somewhere, right?” After she said that, she glanced up at Seifer, her bright green eyes glowing with hope.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

A smile spread across her face and she faced forward again, skipping off towards the cafeteria, assuming that Seifer would follow. He watched her for a moment, marveling at the fact that she always seemed to be cheerful. It looked...exhausting. He shook his head and trailed after her.

When he stepped into the cafeteria, the deafening chatter that he’d been able to hear from the hallway, died down and the entire room fell silent. He placed his hand on his hip and glared around the room, looking for Selphie’s tell-tale hairstyle. Off the far distance, he finally found her, her hair bouncing up and down as she excitedly spoke to Quistis who was frowning.

He beelined over there, avoiding looking at anyone as he passed by each table. When he finally got to Quistis and Selphie, they turned to face him and Selphie jumped up and down happily.

“You found us!”

“Yeah, you couldn’t have picked a table right by the door? I had to walk by everyone just to get back here, because I couldn’t find you. Since you know, you _ran_ off.”

Selphie looked down and shuffled her feet. “Oh, sorry…”

“Ugh, whatever. Can we sit now?” he said, irritated, as he plopped down into the chair.

Quistis quietly said, “Sorry, I told her she shouldn’t have left you out there.”

“Yeah well, too late now.”

The three of them sat in awkward silence. Seifer stewed, and Quistis and Selphie kept glancing at him, and then at each other. In an attempt to break the ice, Quistis, ever the leader, asked, “So Seifer. What have you been up to?”

He raised an eyebrow at Quistis and sardonically said, “That’s like asking how the weather is. But if you really want to know, I’ve been living in Balamb.”

Selphie’s eyes widened. “Balamb?! You were _that_ close by?!”

“Yep,” Seifer replied shortly.

“What were you doing in Balamb? Or I guess I should say, what are you doing in Balamb, since you’re still there, right?” Selphie asked quickly.

Seifer blinked rapidly and stared at her, as his mind tried to catch up to her mile a minute pace. “Uh, I don’t know. Fishing and shit,” he said.

“I didn’t know you could fish! That’s awesome!” Selphie yelled, excitedly.

“I can’t.”

“Oh, but you just said-”

Quistis interrupted Selphie, and asked Seifer, “How are Fujin and Raijin?”

His gaze swung over to his former instructor. “They’re good. Raijin’s a lot better at fishing than I am, actually. Fujin does what she does.”

“It’s nice that you three have stuck together. I remember them trailing after you everywhere,” Quistis spoke fondly.

Seifer raised his eyebrows and said, “You do realize you’re not actually that much older than I am, right? A few months, at the most.”

She narrowed her eyes at him from behind her glasses. “Two, actually. That doesn’t mean I can’t remember who your friends are.”

Selphie cleared her throat to try and quell the discord, but it went largely unnoticed by the pair.

“Yeah whatever, I’m just saying that your know-it-all attitude is obnoxious. I know you like to think you’re our ‘big-sis’ still, but obviously you’re not. You don’t have to keep acting like it.”

Quistis’ face fell and she seemed to cave in on herself. Selphie laid a gentle hand on her friend’s shoulder, trying to comfort her, before she turned to glare at Seifer.

“Ugh, you’re such a meanie! Weren’t you trying to make things better?!”

Seifer sighed frustratingly and closed his eyes, rubbing his temple with his index finger. He looked back up at Quistis and mumbled, “Quistis, I’m sorry. Damn it, you know I’m fucking awful at this shit.”

Her fiery gaze locked onto his, and her eyebrows furrowed. “I _do_ know, Seifer. Regardless of how much you want to think none of us were ever there for you, it wasn’t that we didn’t try. It was that _you_ didn’t want _us_.”

Silence ensued, and Selphie looked down at the table awkwardly. Seifer could practically feel the eyes of everyone in the room staring at the back of his head, since their argument hadn’t exactly been discreet. He shifted in his chair uncomfortably and cleared his throat, supposing he’d have to give the initial peace offering.

“...What have you guys been up to?” he asked, begrudgingly.

Their eyes snapped back to him, widening simultaneously in surprise. Seifer asking about someone else? That wasn’t something that happened every day. They glanced at each other before Selphie piped up first.

“Well, I’m in charge of the Garden Festival Committee now! Actually, I have been for a while, but you weren’t here so…” she trailed off.

Quistis smiled slightly, and brushed a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear. “One of the missiles from yo-back then...crashed into the stage in the Quad. So the Festival had to be put on hold.”

“Yep! But it’s all good now! The stage is fixed and we got a green light to continue! So I’ve been working with everyone to set it up. We should be back on schedule in a couple months!” Selphie explained.

“...Cool,” Seifer muttered.

“You should come! I bet you guys would have a blast!”

“Uh...I think we’re gonna pass. Thanks though…”

The conversation faltered again and Seifer shook his head. _What the hell am I doing here…_

He shoved his chair back abruptly and stood, looking down at Quistis and Selphie. “I think I’m gonna go. No point in stickin’ around.”

“Awww, but you just got here!” Selphie complained.

Quistis stood as well, and said, “I’ll walk you out.”

“You don’t have to-” he started to say, but Quistis brushed past him and said, “Let’s go.”

“Okay then…,” he mumbled under his breath, following his former Instructor back out to the lobby.

They walked in silence, side by side, and when they reached the stairs to the elevator, Quistis turned to face him. “You know, your old room is still available.”

Seifer scoffed and said, “Yeah, I can’t imagine anyone would want to stay there. They probably think it’ll turn them into an evil terrorist.”

She shook her head at him, all business. “No, that’s not true. Squall just hasn’t reassigned it. I asked him not to.”

He stared at her in distrust. “And _why_ would you do that?”

“In case this ever happened. Stay for tonight, Seifer. That way you can talk to Zell and Irvine tomorrow, then head back to town. We could even give you a ride, if you’re really in that much of a hurry.”

“It’s like an hour walk, it’s not a big deal.”

“That’s not the point. If you’re really here to apologize, then you need to finish this. Zell is probably the most upset at you, right after Squall. If Squall can forgive you, then so can Zell.”

_Except Squall **didn’t** forgive me_ …Seifer thought as he sighed and stared longingly at the front entrance. He just wanted to go home, back to Fujin in Balamb.

“One night. I’ll talk to Chicken-wuss tomorrow, then I’m outta here.”

Quistis stuck her hand out, holding what he assumed was his old key card in her palm, and firmly said, “Deal.”

Hesitantly, he reached out and grabbed her small hand in his, taking the key card from her. “Yeah, deal. I’m going to bed then. And uh...sorry about earlier.”

She nodded in acceptance and headed back to the cafeteria. Over her shoulder, she yelled, “See you in the morning.”

He brought his hand up in a pseudo wave and twirled the key card in his other hand, watching as she disappeared around the corner. He glanced down at it, running his thumb along the turquoise and black logo that was imprinted on the surface. A resigned sigh whooshed out of him, and he slowly walked to the back of the lobby, towards the dorms.

_Too late to turn back now_ , he thought.

The hallway was empty and so he took his time, admiring the student common areas that lined the walkway. They were dark now, as it was almost curfew, but he could see the silhouettes of the trees and benches that were scattered around. Memories of the times the Disciplinary Committee would hang around there, skipping classes but yelling at other cadets for doing the very same thing, trickled back to him.

Even though it hadn’t been that long ago, it felt like he’d been so _young_ back then. He’d thought he’d had so much power and control, but it had been a joke--only a mere shadow, if that, of what true power was. Briefly, he’d experienced the reality of it, only to have it ripped away.

Another sigh left him and he turned away, continuing towards his old dorm room. It was towards the very end of the hall, second to last door on the right. He didn’t even have to think about where to go, his muscle memory did that for him. He stood in front of his old door, staring at the key slot in silence. His hand came up, key card grasped tightly in between his thumb and forefinger, and inserted it into the slot. The light flashed green and he hesitantly pulled the handle, pushing the door open.

It was pitch black inside and he reached in, running his hand along the wall until he felt the light switch. When he flipped it on, the overhead fluorescent light flickered before it became solid, illuminating the room. A fine layer of dust covered every surface; they obviously hadn’t come in to clean since he’d left. He didn’t know whether that was insulting or whether he was grateful.

His boots shuffled against the floor quietly, and he walked into his bedroom, pausing in front of his old desk. The textbooks on the surface were also coated in grey dust, and he brushed them off with the side of his glove.

_‘How To Cast Low-Level Magic’, ‘Gunblades for Dummies’_.

He chuckled and meandered over to his bed, plopping down on top of it. Immediately after, he shot up off the bed and reached down, grabbing the comforter. He lifted it off and ruffled it a couple times, and the air around him became clouded with grime.

Tossing the blanket back down, he waved his hand in front of his mouth, trying to clear the air. He coughed a couple times and called it good, sitting back down on the bed. Everything in his room was where he’d left it, untouched for months. It was...eerie. If he hadn’t have survived this whole ordeal, what would they have done with his things? Would it have gone into a museum, labeled as the psychopath Seifer Almasy’s belongings? ‘This is what a terrorist looks like, folks’?

He kicked his boots off and laid down on the bed, shifting his weight around until he settled into the worn grooves of the mattress. The last sigh of the night escaped from his lips and his eyes drifted shut.

_Never thought I’d be back here_ , _in my old bed again,_ he thought cynically.

_Funny how things change._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See y'all this weekend. I appreciate comments, if you liked it!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seifer finishes up his business at Balamb Garden and returns to Fujin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two more chapters to go after this! My beta has dubbed this her favorite chapter, which I found funny because this is the one that has plagued me the most. I've rewritten sections of this chapter multiple times, and hated so many parts of it. There are also other parts that I really enjoyed writing and am rather fond of. Guess that's how it goes, huh?
> 
> Again, the plot progression of this story is rather fast. Realistically, I do think it would take a bit longer for everyone in the main cast to forgive Seifer (with the exception of Rinoa and maybe Selphie). Perhaps in the future, I'll write more chapters and extend the story, but for now, I'm sticking to the ten-chapter timeline. Sorry if that bothers you :x
> 
> Thanks to everyone for sticking through this with me, and thanks to Arenoptara, my beta, for her eternal patience.

The cheerful trilling of the birds outside his window plagued him, their musical conversations refusing to let him sleep any longer. He rolled over with a groan and shoved his face into his pillow, trying to shut out the noise. When the obnoxious sound continued, he turned onto his back and sighed, giving up on his attempt to ignore them any longer. Slowly, he sat up on top of the comforter, and squinted at the brightness streaming in through the window. This was the reason he always closed his blinds at night, and since he was still at Garden, he'd forgotten to do so before he fell asleep.

His gaze skipped around the room, taking in surroundings he never thought he'd see again. The desk that most people used for studying, but that Seifer had simply used as storage, lay against the far wall, the swipes from his hand the night before contrasting with the dust that remained. The silver-and-navy SeeD cadet uniform that he'd never worn, was still hanging on the wall beside the door. Since he'd never graduated, he never received the official SeeD uniform that had gold and maroon detailing on the shoulders. Not that it had mattered to him, of course.

He ran his hand through his hair, combing through the tangles with his fingers in an attempt to look less disheveled. When he realized he was only making it worse, he sighed and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees. There wasn't  _actually_  a pressing need to leave right away, just his own desire to be as far away from Garden as possible.

Lazily, he finally rose from the bed and strode over to the uniform on the wall, pausing in front of it as he studied it with a solemn expression. In the past, he'd chosen not to wear it out of spite. The rest of his class had always worn theirs. Quistis constantly got on his case for  _not_  wearing his, and even the Headmaster eyed him disappointingly when he showed up to required functions in his usual grey trenchcoat. Now, as he traced his finger along the silver detailing on the shoulders, he wondered to himself why he'd never bothered to at least try it on, in the privacy of his room.

A knock interrupted his musings, and he turned from the uniform and its accompanying memories. He grabbed Hyperion on his way out of the bedroom, and sauntered into the living area of the dorm. Apparently, they hadn't reassigned the room next to his either, because the entire main area was also covered in dust. The last person who'd been there was probably him, before the whole fiasco.

He pressed the button on the wall, not particularly caring to be gentle. The door slid open and Quistis stood in front of him, her appearance spic and span as always. Her SeeD uniform looked as if it had been freshly pressed, and the silver clip with Balamb's logo was clasped around her maroon tie, glinting in the sunlight. Her glasses were spotless, not a single smudge to be found. Perfect, as she always strived to be.

"Good morning, Seifer."

His only greeting was a grunt and he leaned against the doorframe.

"I see you're still not a morning person," she commented sarcastically.

"...I guess not," he muttered, his voice husky.

"Hm. I've convinced Zell and Irvine to meet you at the front gate, on your way out. I figured you'd want to get your apology over and done with as quickly as possible."

"Yeah...thanks."

"You're welcome. Also, Squall had to leave early, the SeeD field exam is today. Rinoa went with him, naturally, but they asked me to tell you goodbye."

"Uh...okay. Why aren't _you_  with them?"

"With the Commander there, there's less need for Instructors to accompany them. I've been assigned to stay behind and run Garden in Squall's absence, along with Nida and Xu."

"Of course you have."

"...Was that sarcastic?"

"No. It just sounds like something you'd do."

Quistis blinked at him in surprise, and slowly turned away. "I-I guess so."

She cleared her throat quietly, and shuffled her feet. When Seifer didn't say anything, she glanced back at him and continued, "Well, I'm glad you came back, Seifer."

He raised an eyebrow at her. It was highly unlikely that any of them considered it a  _good thing_  he'd stopped by. "Really now?" he asked cynically.

Her hand came up and rested on her hip, as she rolled her eyes and sighed-her signature pose remained unchanged.  _Bet that still drives the Trepies insane_ , he thought to himself, amused.

"Yes, really. Despite everything that's happened, and the fact that you're still  _you_...it was nice to see that you're doing alright."

Keenly, he studied her for any semblance of dishonesty. When he realized she was being truthful, he nodded slowly at her, surprised at her admission. She smiled slightly at him, a gesture of peace, before she walked away. As he watched her back retreat into the distance, he shoved his hands into his coat pocket and nudged the key card to his room. Curling his fingers around it, he pulled it out slightly and eyed it, considering the option of hanging onto it.  _Ah, what the hell for?_

He quickly looked back up and called out, "Quistis!"

The strands of blonde hair that framed her face spun and hit her cheeks, as she twirled around when she heard his voice. She stood there in the middle of the hall, staring back at him with a confused expression.

He trudged towards her, holding the key card up in between his fingers. "I assume you want this back?"

Her eyes darted from the card, to his face, and back, before she slowly reached out to take it. At the last second, he yanked his hand back and she sighed, stomping her foot slightly at his immaturity.

"Kidding, geez. Learn to take a joke, Instructor," he teased, as he reached his hand out again.

She shook her head chastisingly at him, as she wrapped her fingers around the card. He sidled up to her and they continued walking towards the lobby together, in silence. As they passed under the archway and the sound of the fountains reached his ears, he gazed around, trying to commit everything to memory. This would be the last time he returned to Garden, so he figured taking one last look at every little thing wouldn't hurt.

As they passed the cafeteria, the quad, and lastly, the infirmary, he stared down at the colored tiles on the floor, memorizing their shades. Their boots echoed against the marble and a ray of sunshine reflected off the polished surface. It blinded him momentarily and he came to a standstill. After he blinked a few times, he glanced upwards, staring out of the glass ceiling at the bright blue sky. A fond smile graced his lips and when he lowered his head to look straight ahead again, he met Quistis' eyes, freezing when he realized he'd been caught.

The directory sign loomed behind her, the dark backdrop contrasting with the bright sunlight. She eyed him knowingly, her crystalline eyes shrewd. He shrugged sheepishly, and she shook her head at him again, though this time it wasn't in condescension.

He walked over to the sign and pivoted, so that he was facing the front of it. A moment of silence passed between them, with Quistis observing Seifer's final goodbye to the place that had been his home for nearly a decade. A variety of emotions flickered across his face, from what seemed like anger and bitterness, to fondness and finally, resignation. When the creases in his forehead finally smoothed over, she quietly asked, "Have you made your peace?"

His gaze flashed around the room before settling on hers once more, and he nodded, almost hesitantly. "Yeah, I think so."

At his response, a gentle smile gradually spread across her face and for a brief moment in time, Seifer saw the little girl that he'd known back at the orphanage, who had only ever wanted to be someone important to all of them. A girl who wanted to bring her 'siblings' together, to create a true family. As Quistis had said herself mere minutes ago, despite everything he'd done to them-to the world-and even though he'd taken a harsh jab at her the night before, she would always be the 'big-sis' they'd known her as, all those years ago.

Seifer returned her smile and lifted his hand in a mock salute. "Well Instructor, I'll be seein' ya."

"Goodbye, Seifer."

Swiftly, he spun around and made his way outside, passing under the final archway of Balamb Garden. Though his farewell to Quistis had been amiable, he cringed when he remembered that Irvine and Zell would be waiting for him at the front gate. Those were two apologies he could live without giving.

Now, without the glass shield of the lobby's ceiling, he felt the full intensity of the early morning sunshine. It heated the back of his neck and he could feel the warmth, even through the thick sleeves of his coat. The same birds that had woken him not long ago, sat in the branches of the trees that lined the walkway, still singing their colloquies.

It was a beautiful day. Seifer may have been  _mostly_  reformed, but he still wasn't about to admit that outloud.

He sighed as he spotted Irvine's long, camel-colored trenchcoat in the distance. Zell was beside him in his casual clothing as well, the spiked tips of his fighting gloves glinting as he punched the air in boredom, while they waited. He wasn't exactly going for a stealthy approach and when they heard his heavy footsteps, they both turned around, their postures defensive.

"Hey," Seifer greeted them curtly.

Neither one responded and he shrugged, indifferently.  _That's how it's going to be, huh?_

"Quistis said you guys would be here. Waiting for your apologies, I assume?" he continued.

Zell crossed his arms and glared at Seifer, while Irvine just stood there.

"Okay then, let's just get this over with. Chicken-wuss, I'm sorry for being an ass to you since we were like, eight. Kinneas, I don't really know what to say sorry for, other than almost destroying the world, which I already apologized for."

Zell scoffed and asked incredulously, "That's it?!  _That_  was your great apology?"

"What else do you want me to throw in there? Sorry for stealing your hot dogs?"

"That was YOU?!" Zell's fists clenched.

"I was joking, Jesus. Well, now that that's out of the way, I'm leaving. See ya," Seifer brushed past them and walked down the steps, the rubber soles of his heavy boots beating against the brick walkway.

"Seifer," he heard Irvine call out.

He paused and looked back over his shoulder. Irvine stared him down, assessing him intently, before asking, "Do you really mean it? Are you  _really_  sorry for almost killing all of us?"

Seifer narrowed his eyes and deliberated his reply for a bit, before he finally said, "Yeah, I am. Thought about it every day since."

They peered at each other across the distance and finally, Irvine nodded. He spun around, his coat swirling behind him dramatically, and headed back towards Garden. Zell watched him walk away, his face contorted with anger, before he turned to glare at Seifer again.

"This is bullshit!" he yelled, and ran after Irvine.

Seifer chuckled at Zell's reaction, before he started trekking back to Balamb. That Chicken-wuss had always been good for a laugh.

He took his time returning to Balamb, appreciating the day. It was surprising how much more...free...he felt, after getting everything off his chest. Returning to Garden had been the right move. He tilted his head back, watching the white, feathery clouds roll through the sky. The sun beat down on him still but out here on the plains, it was a pleasant warmth, not overpowering the breeze that drifted through the valley. The weight of Hyperion on his shoulder was comforting and familiar.

_It's a hell of a lot nicer than yesterday_ , he thought to himself.

He stopped and glanced back at Garden one last time, as a final farewell. He'd said his piece, said individual goodbyes to the places and people that had mattered, and now it was time to finally move on. When he faced forward again, he knew it was for good. From this moment on, he was  _allowed_  to look ahead, to the future. He was allowed to  _dream_  again and God, was that liberating.

A couple of hours later, Seifer finally lumbered back into town, passing underneath the archway that marked the entrance. He nodded to the attendant again who, true to form, spun around and avoided meeting Seifer's eyes. He chuckled harshly and kept walking at a leisurely pace, the dismissal not bothering him for once.

As he passed the junk shop, he glanced down the street to the train station. It seemed like ages ago that they'd come back from Deling, when it had only been a couple of days. He'd been so grouchy the entire time they'd been on vacation. That trip had been the catalyst for recent events; he and Fujin had shared that kiss when they'd returned, he'd decided he was finally ready to apologize, and had said his goodbyes to Garden. It was funny how quickly things could change.

He turned back and admired the hotel's facade in the distance. It was a building that was designed to be approachable to all, a place meant to be home away from home, for all its guests. Seifer agreed with that one hundred percent, because the trio had settled in easily over the past couple of months. At first, he'd thought the old couple that owned it would kick them out. But they'd graciously allowed them to stay indefinitely-they just didn't tell the other guests he was there. It was easy to understand why they didn't, and because Seifer was grateful that they'd let them stay  _at all_ , they tried to keep to themselves as much as possible.

Before he'd left Garden, he'd been so anxious to return to Balamb and see Fujin again. Now that he was in town once more and actually staring at the hotel, he realized he wasn't quite ready to face her just yet. He'd thought about the kiss plenty in the last twenty-four hours, and had ruminated over his response to her feelings pretty thoroughly. He'd gone back over the past ten years of their lives together, as much as he possibly could. Even after all that though, he was still afraid to take the next step. He needed to find the courage to take the plunge.

So in lieu of heading for the hotel's front doors, he wandered past them, aiming for the docks. This was where the beginning of the rest of his life had kicked off. The first time he'd ever tried fishing with Raijin, while Fujin observed, had been here. The first time he'd managed to smile at Garden, as it flew overhead, had been here. His very first apology, to Fujin ironically, had been uttered here. Surprisingly enough, in a town that was indirectly his home-after all, it was only about an hour away from Garden-he'd experienced more firsts than he'd anticipated he would, when they'd initially returned.

With a grunt, he lowered himself and sat on the edge of the dock, his legs dangling over the threshold. He laid Hyperion down beside him, and gazed out at the waves, watching them crash over each other, realizing he felt more at peace than he ever had before. Whenever he had to think something over or try to organize his thoughts, the ocean had always been the first thing he sought out. The sound of the undulating tide calmed him, that much at least hadn't changed. This time however, was the first time he could truly admit that he felt...tranquil.

No guilt tormented him-the pseudo-apology he'd given had taken care of that. Well, to him it wasn't a pseudo-apology; he'd meant every word. But the rest of the group probably thought it was, considering he'd never been the best at saying 'sorry'. When they'd first begun to settle in here, he'd felt so lost; the only plan he'd had for his entire life had fallen through, his sole dream shattered into tiny pieces. Every time he tried to pick the broken shards back up, they'd sliced into his old wounds and he'd fallen down once more, his spirit crushed.

But now...now that he was free from the torment of the past, from the constant reminder of the life he'd given up, he was provided with a plethora of options. He could go anywhere, do anything, that he'd ever dreamed of. Before all that though, there was one last hurdle that he had to overcome, and that was Fujin.

He knew, for a fact, that he didn't want to lose her. 'Goodbye' was something he never wanted to say to her-he didn't think he could handle it, honestly-and because of that, he needed to admit to himself how he felt about her. Sure, he was still afraid of the possibility of ruining everything, especially the dynamic of the posse's camaraderie. But he couldn't live the rest his life wondering 'What if...?' He owed it to himself, and to her, to give it a shot, at least once.

The light pattering of footsteps echoed on the wooden planks behind him, the vibration reverberating through his legs, and he turned to look over his shoulder. A pair of black boots was in his direct line of sight and he lifted his eyes upwards, past navy pants, past a royal blue jacket he'd recognize anywhere, with that telltale pauldron on her shoulder. His gaze finally settled on Fujin's face, which was pointed down at the dock, as she walked closer to him. She always did have impeccable timing.

He watched her approach, amused that she still hadn't noticed him. Even when she was less than a foot away, she still hadn't looked up and as a result, she almost ran right into him. Her head shot up, her eye widened in shock.

"...SEIFER?"

His hand languidly arced through the air, in a half-hearted wave.

"...WHEN-" She paused and cleared her throat. "-when did you...get back?" she asked quietly.

"Just an hour or so ago. I came straight here, sorry."

She sat there, her eye fixated on his silhouette. When he'd left yesterday for Garden, she'd been worried that he'd never return, though he'd said he would. With Seifer, it was hard to ever be  _sure_  about anything. The fact that he was here, at the docks, sitting in the same place that he had been for the past few months...that was unexpected enough. When she'd set out for the docks a few minutes ago, she hadn't anticipated seeing him here, so soon.

A fresh wave of anger swept through her and she cut the remaining distance between them, bending down to punch him on the upper arm. Her fist bounced off of his muscle, and he leaned away from the spike of pain that shot through him, reaching up to cradle his arm with his other hand.

He glared up at her and yelled, "Jesus, what the hell, Fujin?!"

She crossed her arms firmly and glowered at him, her eyepatch intensifying her stare. "TELL."

"Like I said, I came straight here. I figured I'd come find you later. I didn't think it was a big deal."

Her fist collided with his arm again and he stood swiftly, angrily whirling around to face her.

"Will you stop?!" he yelled.

They stared icily at each other for a few moments, before Seifer's anger quickly deflated. "Fujin, I'm sorry. I wasn't avoiding you. I just...needed a minute."

Her face softened and she gently brushed past him, bending down to sit where he'd been moments before. His eyes followed her and after a moment, he did the same. They sat in silence, their shoulders touching, as they admired the view of the sea. A light breeze ruffled his hair, causing the one strand that rested against his forehead to bob up and down-he never could tame that strand. As the breeze caressed his cheek, Seifer glanced over at Fujin out of the corner of his eye, marveling at the way the silver strands of her hair sparkled in the light, as they drifted through the air.

Shyly, he reached for her hand that was resting in her lap, and his fingers curled around hers. She jumped at the feel of the cool leather of his glove against her skin, and turned to look at him questioningly. He smiled lightly and pulled his hand back, quickly removing both his gloves before grabbing her hand again. The warmth of her skin seeped through his hand, the heat spreading throughout his entire body.

"Sorry, I just...wanted to...hold your hand, or whatever. Shit, I sound as awkward as Squall."

Fujin shook her head at his words, to reassure him, before squeezing her fingers around his hand. He nudged her with his shoulder and said, "Hey, so uh, I wanted to talk to you."

She tilted her head to the side in response, her expression curious.

"I've been thinking. About, uh...about us…," he trailed off, hesitantly.

"US?"

"Yeah. You know, about what happened the other night."

A blush spread across her snowy cheeks, turning them a soft shade of pink that Seifer found endearing. She looked away and her other hand came up, blocking the lower half of her face. Seifer reached for it and Fujin faced him again.

"Listen. I know that...I know you care about me. You always have, right?" he asked.

Her gaze darted left and right, before settling on their joined hands in her lap. She shrugged, embarrassed that she was put on the spot. After a while, she nodded.

"Okay. So uh...I just wanted to tell you that...I care about you too," he mumbled.

"I...already knew...that," Fujin whispered.

"No, I mean...damn it, this is hard. I meant that, I  _care_  about you."

She looked up at him then, and a small gasp escaped her as she realized what he was trying to say. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, as she struggled to find the words that refused to come. His luminous eyes captured her granite one, and he softly brushed the back of his hand against her cheek. Tears pooled in her good eye, as she tried to process that this was actually happening-for real this time, and not only in her dreams.

He leaned in then, as timidly as he was capable of, and skimmed his lips lightly against hers. One of her tears escaped and rolled down her cheek, and it traveled to his mouth, dissolving upon contact. Seifer leaned back when he tasted the saltiness, and wiped the moisture from her face, tenderly stroking her jawline with the pads of his thumbs.

As always, Raijin showed up at the worst time, and his booming voice called out to them. "SEIFER! FUJ!"

Caught off guard, Fujin leapt up, away from Seifer, and hastily pivoted in Raijin's direction. She brushed her hair behind her ears and straightened her eyepatch, rigidly crossing her arms behind her back.

"FOUND," she stated as a distraction, and pointed to Seifer, who was still sitting on the edge of the dock.

Seifer sighed and grudgingly stood, turning to face Raijin as well. They watched him walk over and when he finally reached them, Raijin reached out and clapped Seifer on the shoulder.

"Good that you're back, ya know?! We were plannin' on fishin' again!" he exclaimed.

Seifer's eyebrows raised and he glanced over at Fujin, before his eyes returned to Raijin. "Again, huh? Did you bring  _me_  a rod?"

From behind his back, Raijin extended his arm, a fishing rod grasped tightly in his hand. "Of course! Just in case ya came back, ya know?"

He shook his head and chuckled, before taking it from his companion. Raijin set the cooler he'd been holding in his other hand on the dock, and they all sat down, draping their legs over the edge. Fujin sat to Seifer's right, while Raijin was on his left. She never actually fished with them, because she preferred to sit and enjoy their company instead.

Hours passed like old times, with jokes thrown left and right, and boisterous laughter that could be heard by nearby residents. Raijin, ever the talented one at fishing- _Damn lucky is what he is_ -caught two Balamb Fish right in the first hour. Seifer was lucky enough to catch a Fastitocalon-F, who tried to gnaw his fingers off when he tossed it back into the water. He absolutely hated those bastards.

When the sun began to set and the ocean transitioned from blue to fuchsia, reflecting the pink and lavender sky, they put up their fishing rods for the night, The smell of fish on the grill drifted over to them from the hotel restaurant and Raijin's stomach grumbled loudly in response. Seifer and Fujin chuckled at him as he got to his feet and shuffled awkwardly in place.

"I, uh, I think I'm gonna head to the restaurant, ya know? I'm starvin'! I'll see ya two there," and he turned and bolted to the hotel.

Seifer shook his head, entertained by his best friend's antics. He stood as well, brushing off his pants fervently, and held his hand out to Fujin. When she took it, he pulled upwards quickly and she lost her balance as she tried to stand, falling into him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and smirked down at her, enjoying her unease far too much.

That wonderful blush returned and she pushed against his chest, trying to get him to let go. His grin widened as he tightened his arm around her, and leaned down to graze her lips with his. Her fist collided with the side of his arm again and he grunted, finally releasing her.

"Geez, you gotta stop beating me up, Fujin," he joked.

She bent down and grabbed Hyperion for him, roughly brushing against his shoulder as she shot past him, scurrying to the hotel. Seifer snickered, and bent down to grab the cooler. He leisurely walked back, swinging the cooler in the air in a slow arc, back and forth. He hadn't been in this good of a mood in...well, forever.

As he turned the corner from the dock, he spotted Fujin and Raijin just outside the hotel's front door, their voices low as they spoke to someone that was blocked by the side of the building. Raijin seemed insistent and Fujin's tone of voice left little to no room for negotiation. That meant that whoever they were talking to, was probably someone they didn't particularly care to see.

Seifer rounded the corner and came to a complete stop, surprised to see Squall's signature black leather jacket with its white fur trim. His rival's steely gaze swung over to him, and he mumbled a few words to Fujin and Raijin, who parted to let him pass. Fujin caught Seifer's gaze over Squall's retreating shoulder, her expression concerned. Seifer nodded subtly and they went into the hotel, giving the two men a moment alone.

"Squall. How...unexpected."

The usually stoic SeeD grunted and waved his hand at Seifer, indicating he should follow him as he walked towards the docks. Seifer sighed, and retraced his steps, staring at the back of Squall's jacket as the breeze gently ruffled the fine, wispy strands of the fur trim.

Squall stopped on the edge of the pier, where the trio had been sitting earlier, and listened to the waves crash over each other. Seifer stood a couple feet behind him, observing as his rival admired the view. When Squall still hadn't spoken after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Seifer cleared his throat and asked, "So what did you come here for? I doubt it was to sightsee."

The younger man slowly swiveled around, to face Seifer. His steely gaze locked onto Seifer's vivid eyes and Seifer's eyebrows furrowed at the scrutiny. He didn't go out of his way to apologize to everyone just to have them gawk at him like he was a museum exhibit.

"Spit it out, Squall," Seifer angrily blurted out,

"...I forgive you."

"W-what?" That hadn't been what Seifer had expected to hear, especially coming from Squall. Just yesterday, the brown-haired Commander had told him it wasn't likely that he'd forgive him anytime soon.

Squall sighed and roughly ran his gloved hand through the long, chestnut colored strands of his hair, sweeping them back from his face. He lowered his head and stared down at his boots, before he spoke again. "I went on the SeeD field exam yesterday."

Seifer crossed his arms and mumbled, "Yeah, so?"

"...We lost a cadet."

A deep, strained sigh left Seifer's lips. Sadly, it was all too common for cadets to fail Seed field exams by death. The life of a hired mercenary wasn't sunshine and daisies, unlike many of them thought. They got cocky, and made decisions that threatened their own lives and ultimately, their squad member's lives as well. Seifer had been the perfect example of that, which is why he'd failed the last time-hell, every time. Luckily for him though, he hadn't died.

"That's...some serious shit."

Squall folded his arms, tucking his hands underneath his biceps. "Yeah, tell me about it. After it happened, Rinoa and I got to talking and...she asked me if, if something were to happen to  _you_ , would I regret never letting bygones be bygones?"

"What happened between us wasn't exactly a simple disagreement, Leonhart. I understood why you said you hadn't forgiven me."

"But my answer to her question was yes, I  _would_  regret it. The time we thought you were executed, I argued with myself a lot. Most of it was about myself, but indirectly, I guess it was also about you."

"Meaning?"

It was Squall's turn to sigh. "I don't know. Meaning...I didn't want to become just a memory. Someone that people referred to in the past tense. Which is what everyone was doing with you."

_Well isn't_ _**that** _ _nice to know…_

"Whatever. My point is, I didn't want you to be something I'd carry around for the rest of my life."

"Gee...thanks," Seifer said sarcastically.

The sound of the tide filled the silence that followed, and for once, Seifer appreciated the predictability of Mother Nature. Even if he and Squall had nothing left to say, she at least offered a distraction from the awkwardness of the situation.

Squall cleared his throat and dropped his arms to his side, his posture loose. "Well that's what I came to say."

Seifer nodded, avoiding eye contact, and Squall walked past him, his heavy boots pounding on the wooden pier. When the sound stopped echoing through the porous boards, and tapped against the concrete instead, Seifer turned and called out, "Hey, Leonhart!"

The man with the mirror image of his scar, turned to face him again, his eyebrows furrowed in his trademark scowl. Seifer raised his hand and gave Squall the same mock salute he'd given Quistis yesterday, a smirk on his lips. A slight smile lightened Squall's expression, as he half-heartedly waved at Seifer, before walking back to town.

Seifer put his hands in his pockets and watched Squall's figure disappear around the corner, past the hotel. He thought over what Squall had told him, still surprised that he'd even decided to forgive him so soon. The reason made perfect sense; life as a mercenary was incredibly risky and therefore, usually ended prematurely. Grudges weren't a luxury any of them could afford. The situation with Ultimecia had been different, because of the sheer scale, but the aftermath remained the same as any other mission.

The sun had finally dipped below the horizon, and the luminescent streetlights highlighted Seifer's silhouette as he made his way back to the hotel. Long shadows stretched on the ground behind him, and his footsteps were the only sound that echoed throughout the town.

When he finally reached the hotel, he pushed their wooden double doors open and they creaked in protest. The large, plush rug in the lobby muffled his boots when he stepped inside, and the doors shut behind him with a thud. He cringed at the sound, and nodded slightly at the receptionist as he began to climb the stairs to the second floor. She stiffly returned his nod and looked away.

_At least she still manages to be polite, unlike the attendant at the plaza. Ah hell, like I'm one to talk_ , he thought.

He padded down the hall towards his room and paused in front of his door, surreptitiously glancing over at Fujin's door. It was late, but it wasn't quite beyond the socially acceptable time to call. Because of Balamb's warm climate, they were usually locked in early Summer weather, and the sun didn't set until almost nine o' clock.

He figured she'd still be up, so he'd just check in with her quickly about the talk he'd had with Squall. Committed to his decision now, he side-stepped and knocked soundly on her door. A moment or two passed before he heard the chain lock sliding open on the other side, and the door opened, revealing Fujin with bedraggled hair. Seifer tried to contain the grin that threatened to spread across his face, but he lost in the end and it became a full blown grin. He rarely saw her looking so unkempt and frankly, it was adorable.

"Hey Fuu, did I wake you?" he quietly asked.

She shook her head marginally, and leaned her head against the edge of the door. "SQUALL?" she asked.

"Yeah, he left. Can I come in? I'll tell you about it."

She stood up straight and pushed the door open for him, before turning and heading farther into the room. He stepped in and grabbed the door handle behind him, gently closing the door instead of letting it slam shut. After he'd slid the chain lock home again, he followed Fujin into the room and saw that she was now sitting on the bed. The blankets were rumpled and he noticed that her jacket was too, so she'd been lying when she'd said that he hadn't woken her. He saw that she'd propped Hyperion up against the far wall, keeping it safe for him while he'd been outside with Squall.

Seifer shrugged out of his coat and tossed it over the back of her desk chair, and threw his gloves onto the surface of the desk. He leaned against it and crossed his arms over his chest, watching her struggle to stay awake. A smile teased at the corners of his lips again, and he strode over to the bed, sinking down in front of her. She reached her hand out for his, like he had done to her earlier, and he grasped it tightly, interlacing their fingers.

"Squall...came to tell me, that he forgives me," Seifer whispered.

Despite her grogginess, her cinereal eye widened in astonishment.

Seifer continued, "Yeah, I know right? I was shocked too. I guess some cadet died during the field exam and put shit into perspective for him. Said he didn't want me to be a-" He raised his hand and made quotation marks. "-'regret'."

"SENSE."

"Yeah, I told him that makes sense. So whatever, I guess we're...okay, which is weird to say. I never thought we'd be on good terms again."

"GOOD?" she questioned.

"Well okay, not  _good_  terms. But we're not enemies, so I'll take it," he clarified.

Fujin nodded and began to trace patterns on the top of his hand. She rarely got to see him without his gloves on, even throughout all the years she'd known him. He always wore them to train with his gunblade, and usually left them on because he didn't want to be caught unawares one day. Now that they were 'retired', he'd been taking them off more frequently and it was...nice.

She flipped his hand over and traced along the lines running across his palm. Seifer watching her intently, as her finger made trails across his skin. The light touch fell somewhere in between a tickle and a pleasurable feeling, and he didn't know whether he liked it or not.

_Maybe the issue is that I like it_ _**too** _ _much…_

Next, she ran her finger along the old calluses on his palms. She glanced up at him questioningly, and he shrugged.

"If I use Hyperion without gloves, I get crazy calluses. That's why I keep them on all the time," he explained softly.

She nodded again and continued her examination, tracing the veins in his wrist upwards onto his forearm. When she reached the crook of his elbow, a tingle spread through him and he hastily pulled his arm away. She looked up at him apologetically and he shook his head.

"I was just getting really sensitive, sorry."

A small 'ah' left her lips and she looked down once more, twirling her thumbs like she had the night they'd kissed for the first time. Seifer chuckled softly, as he came to the realization that she tended to do that when she was nervous.

He recalled his thoughts from earlier when he'd been alone on the pier, about the fact that he was just going to say 'fuck it' and do whatever he felt like, when it came to Fujin-consequences be damned. Now was the time to test his resolve and he lifted his legs and kicked his boots off, letting them fall to the floor with a heavy thud. Fujin's eyes went from his shoes to his face, her eye widening she watched him crawl up the bed and stretch out beside her.

"...WHAT?"

"I'm tired, I don't really wanna go back to my room. You don't mind if I stay here, right?" he asked, as he threw his arm over his eyes to block out the light from the table lamp. "Turn that off, would ya?"

She sighed exasperatedly at his carefree behavior, and leaned over to switch off the lamp. After she fluffed her pillow a couple of times and laid down next to him, he draped an arm over her stomach and she tensed at the unexpected contact.

"Relax, Fujin. This is me  _cuddling_  with you," he mumbled.

Her gaze flickered around, unable to focus on anything in the darkness, and she felt his arm press into her. Seifer's voice floated over to her through the blackness. "Scoot closer, you're practically on the edge of the bed."

She hesitated for a moment, before wiggling closer to him, until her back was pressed up against his front. His arm curled under her, and he nestled his face into her hair, breathing her scent in. He'd never noticed before, but she smelled faintly like metal and...was that incense? The strongest aspect of her scent was the saltiness of the ocean though, and he found that he didn't mind that in the slightest. In fact, it comforted him, much like the real thing did.

Seifer sensed that Fujin was still tense, so he whispered, "Seriously, Fuu. Just close your eye and go to sleep."

The last sound of the night was her sigh, as it left her lips and faded into nothing, and she drifted off.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ALL THE SMUT. Seriously, all the dialogue leads up to the lemon. If that isn't your thing, skip this chapter. The next one is the finale ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally. The long awaited lemon/smut chapter. I feel bad for making everyone wait so long for this, but I personally like to think the wait was worth it. All that build-up...all that anticipation XD 
> 
> The smut 'theme', if you will, was also a response to the blood moon/lunar eclipse prompt that was floating around the fandom from a couple weeks ago. I always imagined that Seifer would have a pretty intense response to seeing the blood moon as well, though in a different way (obviously) than Squall and Rinoa. It was a ton of fun writing from his perspective for this.
> 
> Also, this is my first smut scene. So don't shoot me if it's horribly romantic (aka cheesy) or awful in any way. Regardless, I hope you guys still enjoy. Arenoptara, my beta, deserves cookies. Everyone should send her some.

The curtains in Seifer's room were always drawn. He hated to be woken by the illumination of the sun, first thing in the morning. It put him in a foul mood and it was never a good idea to kick off your day with a scowl on your face. He didn't want to pull a Squall.

So when a soft, dark orange glow filtered through the sheer curtains that  _weren't_  drawn, Seifer instinctively threw his arm across his eyes to block out the light. Trouble with that solution was, he couldn't sleep like that the entire night. So he tossed and turned, in an attempt to find a comfortable position and avoid the radiance of the moon. Ten minutes later, he huffed and sat straight up in bed.

It was definitely a lost cause.

He rubbed the tiredness from his eyes and shifted his gaze over to the curtains. They narrowed in annoyance at the brightness that permeated the room, and he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, planting his feet on the carpeted floor. A sigh escaped from his lips as he swiftly stood and padded over to the window. The carpet muffled his steps, for which he was grateful. Fujin was still asleep, curled up in a ball on the bed, in a nearly completely fetal position.

Just because he couldn't sleep didn't mean he was about to wake her up just to keep him company.

He reached out and swept one of the curtains back slightly, glaring up at the moon's colored surface. It was such a rich shade, that it almost appeared to be a blood red. Seifer shuddered, memories of the events from only a few months ago flooding his mind. Thanks to his efforts, Esthar had been overrun by the monsters from the Lunar Cry. Seeing the moon like this again gave him an uncomfortable sense of deja vu.

Granted, the moon didn't look like an eye at the moment-after all, it didn't have the necessary concentration of monsters at one specific point. But that night, the sky had been the same color that the moon was now. It was...unsettling.

He couldn't bring himself to look away. Minutes passed with him still standing there, completely still, the glowing satellite in the sky haunting him.

Arms wrapped around his midsection unexpectedly, and he tensed. He'd been so lost in his brooding that he'd almost forgotten he was in Fujin's room, and she was still there with him. Who was he kidding? She was  _always_  there with him.

"OKAY?" she asked quietly.

He placed his hand on hers, squeezing it lightly in reassurance.

"I'm fine, Fujin. Just couldn't sleep, it was too bright."

She glanced over his shoulder and gazed up at the sky in silence. She didn't ask if he was talking about the moon-she didn't need to. She'd been right there with him, beside him, as he had steered Lunatic Pandora towards Tears' Point. How could he not be upset on a night like tonight?

So she continued to embrace him. It was all that she could do, when he was lost in his thoughts. Eventually, Seifer turned to face Fujin, his hands coming up to rest on her shoulders.

"I don't want to talk about the moon anymore. Or the past. Hell, can we just...not talk?" he muttered under his breath, his eyes downcast.

Fujin brought her hand up to cup his cheek and tilted her head to the side. When she spoke, her voice was low and gentle, but not unkind.

"Seifer...you'll have to talk...sometime. You can't...keep it in...forever."

"I-I know. I just...not tonight. Not when  _that's_  hovering above us. I...I can't," he stuttered.

She nodded slowly, understanding completely why he was so reticent to discuss it when the moon looked the way it did. That broken expression on his face caused her chest to tighten and she did the first thing that came to mind-she braced herself on his forearms and stood up on her tiptoes, planting her lips softly against his.

His eyes widened at her boldness, but he quickly caught onto her intentions and returned the gesture. When they broke apart briefly, he nibbled slightly at her bottom lip, requesting to take the kiss further-to a place they hadn't gone before. She smiled slightly, the corners of her lips barely tilting up, and closed her eye in acceptance. She trusted Seifer completely, she always had. Now it was time to show him that.

He brought his thumbs up just under her chin, and traced along her jaw. Fujin's mouth fell open slightly at the ticklish sensation, inviting him in to explore. He sighed in delight and leaned in, sliding his tongue along hers. She gasped faintly and the feminine sound nearly left Seifer undone. Of all the sounds and of all the women, he never thought he'd hear it come from Fujin.

'Course, he liked to think he was pretty good at what he was doing.

While he distracted her with his ministrations, he began to undo the buttons on her jacket. They were the type that had the loop that went around the button, and he fought with them as he attempted to keep her attention otherwise occupied. He felt her smile against his lips and she leaned away from him, her slender fingers coming up to finish the job. Seifer grinned sheepishly and shrugged in defeat.

"ASK."

"Hey, that wouldn't have been very impressive now, would it?" he joked.

Fujin shook her head at him, amused, as she lifted her jacket off of her shoulders, setting it over his on the back of the chair. Now, she only had the tank top she'd worn underneath her jacket, as well as her black pants on. Her boots had been removed long before Seifer had even come into her room, earlier that night.

She lifted her top up and over her head, leaving her in a black lacy bra, and Seifer felt the breath he had been about to take, whoosh out of his lungs. Her stomach was slender, her sides tapering down in curves that could only be described as truly feminine. As she shimmied out of her pants and her matching lace underwear was unveiled, Seifer decided that this moment in time was the exact moment he caught a glimpse of heaven.

Fujin was utterly perfect.

The moon's glow caused her skin to appear darker than usual-a bronzed tone versus her normal snowy complexion-and it only made her beauty radiate all the more. He stepped up to her, and hesitantly looped his finger underneath the strap of her eyepatch. He had no problem with what was underneath, but he didn't know if she was comfortable enough with him to bare all of herself.

The gaze of her good eye flickered around the room before timidly settling on his. He started to lift the strap off, centimeter by centimeter, and as soon as it was free of her hair, he placed it on the desk beside them. When he turned to face her again, she was looking down at her feet, her silver hair falling forward to hide her face.

Seifer sighed at her shyness-it was something he wasn't entirely used to. The Fujin he knew was always bold, brash, unafraid to voice her opinion to anyone and everyone. The Fujin he saw in this moment, was a vulnerable woman learning to share the deepest part of herself with him. It humbled him.

He ran his fingers through the silky strands of her hair as he reached out and placed them on the back of her neck, tilting her face upwards towards his. Lightly, he traced the scar that ran across her left eye with one finger, his touch ghosting across the mark. Fujin shivered, though Seifer was unsure whether she did it because she was uncomfortable with his touch, or whether it was because it had been unexpected.

"Fuu, do you want me to stop?"

She shook her head immediately, meeting his gaze once more. "No...it's just...no one but me has...touched that...in years," she explained softly.

He smiled slightly and leaned in, pressing his lips against what she considered a defect, but what he saw as a symbol of courage and a testament to her strength.

"You never have to hide anything from me, Fuu," he said gently.

She straightened, her posture proud again and gave a single, firm nod.

_That's the Fujin I know_ , Seifer thought fondly.

As if inspired by his words, she swiftly reached for his vest's zipper and yanked it down, her impatience making her actions sloppy.

"Woah! Hey, we can go slow...," Seifer suggested, teasingly.

Fujin looked up at him from underneath her lashes, promise in her stare-he about lost it from that look alone-and firmly said, "NO."

She pulled his vest back and off of his shoulders, revealing his muscular torso. They'd been wandering souls for a few months now, but that didn't erase almost an entire lifetime of hard training. He was, most definitely, still fit.

Because he was facing Fujin and not the window, his torso was mostly hidden in shadow. Thankfully, the lamp was still on from before they'd fallen asleep; the mixture of darkness and the faint glow from the lamp, caused the indentations between his muscles to appear even more prominent.

Fujin ran her hands slowly down his pecs until she reached his abdominal muscles, and dragged her fingers delicately towards his waistband. Her touch was feather-light and Seifer sucked in a sharp breath at the sensation. For someone who didn't know what she was doing, she sure was torturing him pretty efficiently.

She toyed with the band of his boxers for a few seconds, her sudden shyness nearly tangible. Seifer briefly chuckled and gently nudged her hands aside, as he unbuttoned his pants for her. Her gaze shot up to his and a blush crept across her cheeks. She was obviously embarrassed that her inexperience was showing again.

He stepped back, putting some distance between them-so that he'd have more room to maneuver, and also to give Fujin a moment to process what was happening-and shoved his pants down, kicking them aside with his foot.

Fujin's eye was fixated on him, taking in his aroused state almost greedily. Part of Seifer was incredibly turned on that she was so audacious but the other part of him was slightly uncomfortable at the scrutiny. The few times he'd had sex, were usually rushed, which meant there hadn't been much time to admire the sights. Slowing things down and actually enjoying the moment, was a new and foreign concept to him.

For Fujin though, Seifer would do just about anything. So he stood there, stock-still, and allowed her the freedom to ogle as much as she wanted to. After slowly examining him from head to toe, she cautiously approached him, reaching out once more for his underwear.

A slow grin spread across Seifer's face, as anticipation coursed through him. In a low, husky voice, he said, "Remember Fujin, I don't bite. Not unless you want me to."

That rosy blush returned once again and Seifer realized he was beginning to love seeing her like that. As if to hide her bashfulness, she hurriedly pulled his boxers down, revealing his erection that by this point, was beyond ready to go.

She apparently hadn't thought out her actions thoroughly because she gasped when he became exposed. She looked like she was about to panic and take off for the hills, so Seifer hastily reached out and wrapped his hand around her wrist, pulling her in against his chest.

She squirmed for a bit as Seifer tried to calm her down, murmuring gentle words as he leaned against her, his face in her hair. Eventually, she stopped resisting and Seifer leaned backwards to look into her eye.

"It's still me, Fujin. We'll go as slow or as fast as you want to, I promise," he told her soothingly.

Her chest heaved as she peered up at him, as if reminding herself that it was indeed still the Seifer she knew so well. He took her hand in his and casually pulled her along, back to the bed. He laid down first and stretched out, completely bare both emotionally and physically. He was hoping this would allow Fujin to approach him on her own terms, when she was ready-just like the first time they'd spent the night together. He held out his hand to her, palm turned upwards, and waited patiently for her to come to him.

Hesitantly, she advanced, and placed her hand lightly in his. Seifer took that as confirmation that she wanted this as much as he did, and he tugged slightly, causing her to fall forward onto him. She planted her hand on his chest, trying to regain her balance from the sudden shift in her center of gravity.

Seifer reached down and grasped her slim ankle, trying to indicate that he wanted her to lift her leg up and over his waist, so that she could straddle him. When she complied, her cheeks flushed at the feel of his manhood, heavy and heated, resting against the inside of her thigh.

"Fuu, hey. Look at me?" Seifer prompted gently.

She tentatively shifted her gaze to his, her cheeks still colored.

"It's still  _me_ ," he reassured her, as he grazed her sides lightly with his knuckles, trying to pull her attention elsewhere.

She let out a feminine gasp-music to Seifer's ears-at the tingle that shot through her. What he was doing with his hands tickled, but in a different way than she was used to, a way she'd never felt before. The tingles shot straight to her lower belly, and her whole body seemed to burn with the heat that came from inside of her.

He reached behind Fujin and deftly unclasped her bra, pulling the straps down lazily. When her breasts were finally uncovered, Seifer's eyelids lowered as his normally bright eyes darkened in lust. He tossed her bra onto the floor, the piece of clothing quickly forgotten.

Her rose-colored nipples were puckered, asking to be touched, and who was Seifer to deny them? He brushed them gingerly with his thumbs and Fujin gasped again, louder this time, as she arched her back. Because of the change in her position, it caused her pelvis to push down on his erection and Seifer groaned at the pressure.

She lifted herself off of him hastily, afraid that she'd hurt him because of his groan. Seifer harshly placed his hands on her hips and brought her back down, desperate for them to stay touching.

Fujin gently laid her hand on Seifer's cheek, concern etched on her face. As he caught his breath, he turned his face and brushed his lips against her palm in reassurance.

"I'm fine, Fuu. That was a good groan, I swear," he said, his voice guttural and deep.

She sat there in silence, unsure of what to do next. When his breathing had slowed, he cracked his eyes open again, looking up at Fujin. She nodded to signal that she was ready for more, and without warning, he flipped them over. The rough cotton of the comforter was coarse against her uncovered back, making her skin ultra sensitive to any contact.

Seifer leaned in and kissed Fujin firmly, urging her to open her mouth for him. He caressed her tongue skillfully when she obliged, and she arched her back again, moaning quietly into his mouth as a result of his passion. Spurred on by her reaction, he hooked his fingers around the band of her underwear, pulling them off swiftly.

He nudged her thigh, begging her to open her legs for him and she acquiesced, spreading them apart. He reared up and grabbed her ankles again. This time however, he pulled her legs behind his back and she crossed them at her ankles, wrapping them around his waist.

When he leaned down again, he braced his weight on his arms as he settled them on either side of Fujin's face. Gently, he nuzzled the tip of his nose against hers and she sighed contentedly, at the surprisingly romantic gesture. The head of Seifer's manhood pressed against her sex and she instinctively tensed up. She squeezed Seifer's biceps tightly, and he backed off.

"Hey, you've gotta try to relax. I know it's tough, but it'll be more painful if you're tense like this," he explained.

Fujin nodded but her eyebrows were still drawn together, her eye squeezed tightly shut. Seifer lightly dragged his thumbs across her cheekbones repeatedly, until the creases in her forehead eased and she opened her eye again.

"Trust me, Fuu. It'll only hurt for a little bit."

Her grip on his arms loosened and he brought his hips forward again. He pushed into her slowly, feeling her tightness and warmth envelope his member inch by inch-all he could feel and think about was Fujin and how incredible she was.

Finally, he pushed against what felt like slight resistance and shifted his weight from his forearms to his elbows, lightly placing his hands against her cheeks. He held her gaze, and whispered tenderly, "I'm sorry, Fujin. Only a little, I promise."

She nodded tersely and Seifer pulled his hips back, then snapped them forward. Fujin whimpered once, and her forehead evened out again.

"Are you...okay? That didn't seem like it was as bad as I was expecting," he questioned.

She shook her head slowly and said, "TRAINING."

"Oh, right, So...are you alright with me...moving now?"

A coy smile spread across her face and she rotated her hips and clenched, causing her inner muscles to tighten and unknowingly-to Fujin anyway-causing friction between the base of his member and the bundle of nerves above her cleft. She gasped at the unexpected pleasure that shot through her, and Seifer groaned again, lowering his forehead to hers.

"You keep doing stuff like that Fuu, and I'm not going to last very long...," he warned.

Her lips grazed the outer shell of his ear and she seductively whispered, "Maybe...that's what I want..."

" _Fuck_...," Seifer trailed off, and began to move his hips back and forth, causing sparks of pleasure to shoot through both of their bodies.

Fujin moaned deeply and threw her head back onto the pillow, her silver hair fanning out across it and catching the orange glow of the moon. It was the first true moan of the night, and Seifer answered it with his own, his voice raspy in contrast to her breathlessness.

She grew impatient at his gentle pace after a few minutes and squeezed his sides with her thighs, concentrating all of her weight in her lower body. She rapidly wrenched her legs to the side, causing them to flip so that she was now on top of him.

Seifer laughed at her fearlessness, even in a situation she was unfamiliar with- _So like Fujin_ -and lifted her body up. When she grasped him in her hand and lined him up at her entrance again, he pulled back down on her hips and they both groaned when he bottomed out.

Thank God Fujin had always been a fast learner. She stared down at him with her lid lowered, her grey eye stormy, and raised her hips, slamming them back down. Seifer cried out, turned on even more by the sound of their bodies meeting.

Every time she did it, he felt his balls tighten in response. Her face was scrunched up in concentration and Seifer narrowed his eyes. While he appreciated her attentiveness, she was supposed to be enjoying this too...

So he brought his hand in between them, rubbing her clit lightly with his thumb-intensifying the pressure and then alternating with touches that were barely there. Her cries became less throaty and more like short gasps, and her eye pinched shut as her mouth dropped open. Seifer reached his hands around her back and pulled her down to him, her chest resting on his now, their hearts beating against each other.

He ran his fingers through the soft strands of her hair, cupping the back of her head and lifted his up to place his lips on hers. He sensually stroked her tongue with his as he thrusted into her, the rhythms matching. Fujin moaned into his mouth and ground her hips into his, seeking the same friction his thumb had been giving her before.

The tension within her finally snapped and she broke away, a raspy cry escaping her, and her head fell into the crook of his neck. Her inner muscles clenched around him, causing Seifer's release to rush forward.

"Holy fuck, Fujin," he said from between clenched teeth, as he wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her in a crushing embrace while he rode out the blissful wave.

Their gasps faded eventually to deep breaths and Fujin felt Seifer's large, comforting hand caressing her hair. She sighed in satisfaction, already feeling the ache in her muscles settling in. She fell to the side, plopping down onto the comforter, her eye already drifting shut in exhaustion.

He gazed over at her, watching her fall asleep with tenderness in his eyes and whispered, "Maybe the blood moon isn't so bad after all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Squeeeeeee. Leave a comment in the box below! I really want to hear everyone's opinion on this particular chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter - 100% unnecessary fluff, considering chapter eight tied up all loose ends. Seifer and the gang get to experience what a 'normal day' feels like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely readers! So, chapter ten. Here we are, at the end of the road :') I will admit upfront, this chapter is entirely fluff. There weren't any loose ends to tie up, chapter eight took care of those. Chapter nine took care of the obligatory lemon. This chapter is, honest to god, just fluffy character interaction. It's an example of how a 'normal' night in a 'normal' life, that Seifer had always wanted, would be like. I wanted to end this story on a positive note and it was a lot of fun writing this.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who read this story. See y'all next time.

**Six months later.**

The piercing sound of the metal head of a hammer, as it slammed against brittle tile, rang through the meadow. The rhythmic beating echoed through Seifer's head, as the muscles of his bicep flexed each time he brought the tool down. His mind was clear, thinking of nothing else but the repetitive motions of manual labor. Sure, he could've hired someone to build the house for them, but he had plenty of time on his hands, and he didn't mind doing menial tasks himself.

The house they'd been working on during the past few months, was nearly finished. Seifer was currently working on laying some of the last roof shingles while Fujin was inside, painting the walls. Raijin's job was to bring all of their belongings over from the hotel, on the other end of town, and place everything in their respective rooms.

Seifer had been working on the shingles for the better part of the entire morning. The back of his neck was starting to sting, right on the edge of a true sunburn, and he figured a break was probably calling his name. Sweat dripped down his forehead, threatening to run into his eyes, so he swiped the back of his hand up to catch the droplet. He'd shrugged off his heavy coat a couple of hours ago, figuring it would hinder his mobility up on the roof and to avoid getting heatstroke. Apparently, it hadn't been enough; he didn't understand how his body could produce  _this_  much sweat.

He glanced up and spotted Raijin coming up over the crest of the hill with three large cardboard boxes in his arms. He trailed his hand through the hair in a pseudo-wave, even though Raijin wasn't able to return the gesture at the moment. Deciding that now was probably a good time to take a break, he set the hammer down gently on the pile of shingles, and crawled over to the ladder that was propped up on the side of the house. Instead of stepping down one rung at a time, Seifer simply propped his shoes up on the edges of the ladder, wrapped his hands around the side railings, and slid all the way down to the ground. When he turned around, a huge grin was on his face; how did people climb ladders normally?

His grin quickly sobered when he noticed Fujin standing right in front of him, her hands on her hips and a stern expression on her face. Seifer simply shrugged and she rolled her eye at his behavior.

"HELP."

"Yeah, I know. That's why I came down. He looks like he's struggling over there, heh," Seifer commented amusedly, as he watched Raijin try to make it the last stretch, before he reached the house.

Fujin smacked him on the arm with the side of her hand, and a piercing pain shot through his nerves. The girl could  _hit_.

"Alright, alright!" he exclaimed, and jogged over to Raijin, grabbing the top box out of his friend's arms.

"Oh, thanks, ya know!"

"Yeah, I think Fuj would've beat me up more if I hadn't come help you."

Raijin chuckled and they trekked back to the house, chatting about what else there was to bring over from the hotel. According to Raijin, there were only a few boxes left and then they'd be completely moved in. Fujin was watching 'her boys' walk towards the house with an affectionate smile on her lips.

Since coming back from Garden, Seifer had been a changed man. He'd promised to leave his past behind and she truly believed that he had. If or when they ever spoke about Garden or anyone there, he didn't have a resentful look on his face anymore. In fact, often times he spoke about them fondly. He smiled more freely, which was something she could definitely get used to-he had a beautiful smile. He laughed more, with true emotion rather than the fake, superficial chuckles he'd given before.

When they reached the threshold, she moved aside to let them walk into the house, huffing at the dust that trailed in after them. Seifer glanced at her and she narrowed her eye at him; she ran a pretty tight household and that included keeping it at a military standard of neatness.

"UNACCEPTABLE."

It was Seifer's turn to roll his eyes at her and he leaned in, quickly pressing his lips against hers in a chaste kiss. Fujin's cheeks turned bright pink and she turned her face away, hiding it in her neck. Seifer grinned at his successful attempt at distracting her, and turned to set the box down on the table behind him. Fujin sputtered in protest and Seifer faced her again, placing his hands on her shoulders gently.

"Fuu, it's just a kiss. Breathe with me…," he said, and started slowly inhaling and exhaling. For his teasing, he was rewarded with a swift jab to the abs and the breath he'd been holding, quickly whooshed out of his lungs.

"IDIOT," she exclaimed.

**Two weeks later.**

Crickets chirped around him, the sharp sound of their calls echoing throughout the night. The soft glow of the lights that were strung across their back patio illuminated the area around Seifer, in a hazy circle. Out on the edges of Balamb, the stars were easily visible and Seifer gazed upwards at them, lost in the neverending expanse of the night sky. The glass beer bottle in his hand slowly twirled around in a circle, as he lazily rotated his wrist.

A quiet sigh of content escaped his lips and they subsequently formed into a gentle smile. Life had never been easy for him-for any of them. His parents obviously hadn't wanted him and dropped him off at the orphanage that would come to change the rest of his fate. He barely even remembered his real parents, but the bitterness and hurt at being consciously left behind had taken years to fade. His original family had come to be replaced by his family at the orphanage.

Cid and Edea Kramer were the kindest people he knew, and that had been part of the reason he'd become Edea's Knight. He'd believed in her, believed in the only woman who had truly acted as his mother. In the end, things had obviously worked out differently than he'd anticipated because of Ultimecia. He understood though, that it hadn't been Edea's fault. After things had settled, she'd returned to being the Matron they'd all known and loved.

It was no one else's fault but his own that he'd chosen to betray his 'siblings', he knew that now. As much as he'd thought he was making the right decision when he'd chosen to stand by Edea's side and not his 'family', it had taken the destruction of Ultimecia for him to realize how wrong he'd been. It had stung his pride to apologize to all of them, but they'd deserved one, and he didn't regret having to embarrass himself. In all honesty, as Fujin had explained to him upon his return, it was something that had been necessary to begin patching up the broken threads of trust they'd had before.

To Seifer's surprise, it had worked. Once they'd finished building the house, somehow the gang back at Garden had caught wind of him setting down permanent roots. Selphie and Quistis had ventured out to visit the trio and apparently, were rather impressed at his dedication to construction work. When they'd returned, the rest of the gang had been informed and somehow, a barbecue date had been set. That date, was tonight.

Seifer rose from his chair and pulled open the sliding door that led into their kitchen. Fujin was at the counter, preparing loose ingredients for burgers and hot dogs- _Chicken-wuss will be over the moon with joy_ -while Raijin was in the process of unpacking their grill. He watched them for a moment, affection and appreciation coursing through him. Though his life had been admittedly rough up until maybe a year or so ago, he had to admit that he'd been lucky to have friends like his.

He set his now empty beer bottle on the counter next to him, and quietly came up to stand behind Fujin, wrapping his arms around her waist. On reflex, she tensed instantly but relaxed when she realized it was Seifer. He nestled his face into her neck and she giggled at the ticklish sensation of his nose running along her skin.

"STOP."

"Why, do you really want me to?"

"...NO."

"Mmmhm, that's what I thought. Do you need any help?"

"NO. RAIJIN," she suggested.

Seifer lifted his head and glanced over at their burly friend, who was sitting on the floor in front of the box, scratching his head in confusion. He chuckled and detangled himself, strolling into the living room to plop down on the couch beside Raijin.

"You uh...need some help there?" he teased.

"I just don't understand, ya know?! Where the heck does this piece go?!"

Seifer reached a hand out for the manual and Raijin tossed it his way, as he proceeded to stick the metal part in multiple different places, hoping for the right outcome. As Seifer leafed through the instruction manual, the doorbell rang and Raijin all but jumped up and sprinted over to the door, anxious to get away from the grill that was tormenting him.

Jovial laughter and the light, airy voices of females drifted through the living room and Seifer glanced up, spotting Quistis' telltale flaxen hair and Selphie's flipped auburn locks. He waved to them lazily and Selphie sprinted over, flopping down onto the couch next to him.

"Whatcha readin'?!"

He leaned away from her, holding the manual in front of his face so that she could see the cover, and she scrunched up her face at his behavior.

"You could've just  _said_  so," she mumbled.

"Yeah, but where would the fun be in that?" he teased.

"Ugh…," she muttered, and swiftly rose from the couch, wandering into the kitchen.

He chuckled under his breath. Selphie had always been so easy to tease. She reminded Seifer of Zell in that aspect. He'd never talked to her much in the past but now, after making amends, he could see why so many people were drawn to her. She was so easygoing, so easy to be near, that it felt comfortable to be himself around her.

He spotted Quistis slowly pacing around the room, tracing the edges of the furniture that was strewn about. Her eyes traveled upwards, to the exposed beam that ran across the length of the living room and she admired the handiwork of the trusses that were uncovered.

"Who did the woodwork?" she asked quietly.

Seifer sighed at the interruption and set the manual down in his lap. "Raijin and I did."

"It's...incredible," she breathed.

"Thanks. What, surprised that I'd have the discipline to actually finish a project this big?"

"Well...yes, actually," Quistis admitted, frankly.

Seifer scoffed, but it held no malice and he resumed reading the instruction manual. If he didn't get this grill put together sometime soon, none of them would be eating dinner. The soft sound of Quistis' footsteps approaching interrupted him again, and he peeked up, over the top of the manual, at her.

She held out her hand and he stared at it, unsure of what she wanted. When she gestured to the manual, he placed the glossy booklet in her palm and she perused it intently, her brilliant eyes lighting up at the prospect of solving a puzzle. As Quistis compared the instructions to their progress, she finally said, "Aha…," and bent down, tinkering with the grill. Seifer leaned over, watching her, and she straightened quickly, her eyes scanning the room for Raijin.

"Raijin! I need the part that you're holding," she called over to him.

A confused look drifted over Raijin's face and Quistis pointed to the metal spring and small rod in his hand. He walked over and held the part out to Quistis. She took it and kneeled down in front of the grill once more. With ease, she inserted the coil into the back of the grill's hinge and slid the pin home. She closed the grill and glanced up at Seifer triumphantly.

"There you go!" she said, and swiftly stood back up.

Seifer raised his eyebrows at her and applauded slowly. When he spoke, his voice dripped with sarcasm. " _Very_  good job, Instructor."

Quistis mockingly bowed at the waist, and Seifer rose from the couch, stooping to pick up the grill. He carried it into the kitchen, placing it on the counter next to Fujin. Her grey eye swiveled up to gaze at Seifer and he quickly placed a peck on her lips again, before glancing over to Quistis.

The fact that Quistis hadn't snapped at him for being sarcastic, was a sure sign that things were truly different now than they had been only six months ago. He supposed that the fact that they were here, in  _his_  house, was also a clear indicator of different times.

He leaned on the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. His right ankle came up over his left one and he visibly relaxed into his position, watching Selphie and Quistis converse with Raijin. A smile teased at the corners of his lips and Fujin poked him in the ribs, to get his attention.

When he glanced down at her, she was holding out two plates, one in each hand. The one on the left had meat patties and hot dogs, and the one on the right had fish filets that Raijin had caught over the past weekend. She gestured to the newly finished grill and the back door and Seifer rolled his eyes, taking the plates from her.

_Why do_ _**I** _ _have to be the one who does all the grilling?_

Fujin slid open the back door for him and he stepped out onto the back patio. He placed the plates down and turned to head back inside to grab the grill, when she walked out with it in her hands. She passed it over to him and pointed at the bag of charcoal briquettes on the patio surface.

"Yeah, yeah. I guess I'll be out here for a while, then," he commented dryly.

She beamed up at him and ran her hand along his forearm, then turned and headed back inside, leaving the patio door open a sliver. He shook his head fondly, watching her mill around inside  _their_  house. The lid of the charcoal grill was heavier than he'd expected, so he had to wrench it open in order to place the briquettes inside. He sparked them with a light Fire spell and tossed the fish filets on first.

The sizzling sound of them cooking made Seifer's mouth water and he eyed them greedily. The edges of the filets slowly turned solid from transparent and he reached for tongs, so he could flip them over. As his fingers grasped air, he realized he'd forgotten them inside. He strode over to the patio door and as he was stepping over the threshold, he heard voices drifting back to him from the front door.

The drawer to the left of the sink held all of the cooking utensils, and as he pulled it open and grabbed the tongs, he glanced up towards the door. Squall and Rinoa had apparently arrived, and his former rival looked extremely tense. It was a stark contrast to how relaxed Rinoa seemed to be. She was carrying a box in her arms that she shyly handed over to Fujin. Squall caught his eye over Rinoa's shoulder and briskly nodded, once. Seifer returned the gesture and headed back outside, tongs in hand.

He lifted the lid of the grill again and quickly flipped the fish filets over. He'd left them just a few seconds too long and grill marks were now seared horizontally along the individual pieces. He shrugged and closed the lid again. If Fujin gave him the job of grilling, she had to be expecting some errors.

The sound of the patio door opening made him turn, and Rinoa stepped out to join him. She crossed her arms over her torso and wandered slowly over to him, her eyes concentrated on the grill.

"Wow, Seifer Almasy on grilling duty, huh?" she teased.

He rolled his eyes again and chuckled. "Yeah, Fujin seemed to think it would be a good idea. Don't blame me if the patties and fish filets are burnt."

She laughed lightly and pointed at the grill. "Except it  _would_ be your fault, wouldn't it?"

"You shut up. The secret stays with us," he jokingly threatened.

Her brown eyes swiveled up to his and the ray of light from the patio fixture caused them to appear as if they were glowing from within, as if they were a honey gold. Though others would've thought they were beautiful, Seifer found that his skin broke out in goosebumps. The eerie shade disappeared instantly when she looked away, but in that brief moment, she'd looked like the sorceress he knew she was.

He turned back to the grill and cleared his throat to break the awkward silence. "So what was in the box you guys brought?"

Rinoa glanced back over her shoulder at the patio door and replied, "Oh, Squall and I baked a cake for you guys as a housewarming present."

A single blonde eyebrow raised and he asked, "A  _cake_? Aren't housewarming gifts supposed to be useful? Like, I don't know, a lawn mower or something?"

She rolled her eyes in response. "Only  _you_  would complain about receiving a gift. It's a pineapple coconut cream cake."

Now both of Seifer's eyebrows raised and he studied Rinoa intently for a moment, before he said, "That's...my favorite."

She clasped her hands behind her back and rocked back and forth on her heels. "I know, I remember. That's why we made it."

The image of Squall Leonhart in an apron, whisk in hand as he mixed cake batter, popped into Seifer's head and he nearly choked on his own spit, as he started laughing hysterically. "When you say  _we_ , you do mean that  _you_  made the cake, right?"

Rinoa's eyebrows furrowed defensively. "No, Squall  _did_  help."

He snickered and said, "I'm never going to let him live this down."

She pointed a finger at him and placed her other hand on her hip, in an attempt to look menacing which fell flat. "Don't you dare! It took a lot of convincing to get him to help me."

"Fine, fine," Seifer agreed, and opened the lid to the grill again, noticing that the fish was now finished cooking. He placed them on the same plate and handed it to Rinoa. "Make yourself useful, huh?"

Her eyes narrowed in annoyance at him, and she headed back inside with the plate in hand. Seifer tossed the meat patties onto the grill next and the scent of cooking meat permeated the air around him. He breathed in deeply, even more excited for the burgers than he had been for the fish. Fujin did a great job at seasoning both but he had a true weakness for meat.

After cooking the meat, Seifer plopped the cooked patties back onto the plate and headed back inside. Fujin turned when he stepped through the doorway and glared at him as she took the plate out of his hand. He raised an eyebrow at her and she said, "RAW."

He glanced at the plate again and realized he'd put cooked meat back onto the same plate she'd handed him the raw patties on.

"Oh...oops?" he offered as an apology, and she rolled her eyes in response.

Fujin began to set the table for everyone, placing the condiments and meat options in the center, on the table runner. Raijin grabbed beers from the fridge for everyone and once Selphie and Irvine arrived a few minutes later, they all sat down to eat. The happy sounds of laughter and friendly conversation circled around the room and Seifer gazed at his  _friends_ ; no, his  _family_ , that surrounded him.

A year ago, he'd been under Ultimecia's influence, chasing his dream of becoming a Sorceress' Knight. That's all he'd wanted from life and he had been willing to make sacrifices to get there. Obviously, he'd discovered too late that things weren't what he'd thought they were, and he'd been tossed aside like yesterday's garbage. When the time compression had lifted and things had returned to normal, he'd struggled to find out where to go. He couldn't return to Garden, that much he known. So they'd traveled from one edge of the map to the other, trying to settle down in every major city, and backwater town, only to be immediately kicked out.

Then, they'd returned to Balamb. The irony of the fact that they'd returned to the very island he'd started at hadn't been lost on him. He'd been surprised that the inhabitants were the  _only_  ones in the entire world that had been willing to ignore his presence. Granted, Balamb hadn't sustained any damage during the 'war', but they had been threatened by the missiles that were meant for Garden. Whatever the reason, the lack of hostility dictated their decision to remain in town.

Now, fast forwarding to current times, he was in his  _own_  home in Balamb, surrounded by the people he'd tried to kill but had regardless, chosen to stick with him. He glanced over to Fujin and saw that she'd been watching him as he'd reflected on the past. She smiled softly at him and he reached his hand out to her, palm up. She gently placed her hand in his and he closed his fingers, intertwining them with hers. They gazed at each other, as the world around them seemed to fade out of existence. The light above the table reflected off of her eye, causing her gunmetal-grey iris to have lowlights of almost black, and highlights of silver. The chatter of their friends faded until it sounded like a low murmur to them. Raijin coughed suddenly and Seifer broke eye contact with Fujin, to glance over at him. Raijin's stare was fixated on the door and Seifer followed his eyes, sitting straight up in his chair when he realized what, or rather who, he'd been looking at.

Headmaster Cid and Edea-no, Matron- were standing just in front of the closed door, their expressions reserved and almost timid. Matron stepped forward hesitantly and Seifer and Fujin rose swiftly from their chairs, meeting her in the living room. She was dressed in her usual black one piece dress, with a dark grey shirt underneath for modesty. In her arms, she also held a box and when they approached, she held it out, a hopeful smile on her face.

Fujin reached her arms out and took it from her, expressing her thanks quietly. Matron nodded graciously and her eyes flitted to Seifer's, meeting his gaze. They stared at each other for a few moments before Matron raised her arms in an invitation. Seifer chuckled shortly and embraced her, the past forgotten for now. They returned to the dining room and pulled up two more chairs for their 'parents', and thus, the entire orphanage gang was together again under a single roof.

.

.

.

"Hey Chicken-wuss, we bought some hot dogs just for you."

"Aw yeah! I'll let the Chicken-wuss thing slide...if you pass me the plate…"

.

.

.

"Squall, do you want fish or a burger?" Rinoa asked, her voice melodic.

"Uh, I'll take fish."

"You know that boys who haven't gone through puberty would choose fish right? Real men eat meat," Seifer teased Squall.

"...Whatever."

"Hey,  _I_  have fish, ya know!"

"Calm down Raij, I was joking."

"RAIJIN. BOY."

.

.

.

"Seifer, dear, do you have anything other than beer to drink?"

"Oh, yeah we do, E-Matron. Is...water okay?"

"That would be wonderful. Thank you sweetheart."

.

.

.

"Ooh, this fish is suuuuper good! Fujin, did you make it?!"

"You can't  _make_  fish, Sephy. You catch it," Irvine explained.

"Yeah, whatever. She knows what I meant!"

"RAIJIN."

"He made it? I didn't know you could cook, Raijin!"

"No Selphie, she means Raijin  _caught_ it. It's Balamb Fish. Fujin seasoned it.  _I_  grilled it."

"Oh...is that why it's kinda burnt?"

"...Tch."

.

.

.

The rest of the night passed, filled with laughter and smiles, and Seifer thanked whatever higher powers existed for giving him this 'normal' life. It was something that he never thought he'd have, and he was grateful. Not wanting to interrupt the conversations that were going on around him, he silently rose from his chair and wandered over to the back door, tossing his empty beer bottle into the recycling bin as he passed through the kitchen. After gazing out through the glass for a few seconds, he slid the door open and stepped outside, shutting it behind him.

His boots were quiet on the wooden deck as he walked over to the railing, and leaned his elbows on it. A content sigh escaped his lips and he tilted his head towards the sky, gazing up at the stars once again. The silence was comforting for once. His mind wasn't clouded with thoughts or worries of where to go next, or what he could've done differently. It was...blank, and that was incredibly blissful.

The patio door slid open and he turned to look over his shoulder. Fujin ambled over to him, her footsteps nearly silent. When she reached his side, she glanced up at him, trying to gauge his mood. He smiled gently to reassure her that he wasn't upset, and she returned the gesture, leaning her elbows on the railing next to his.

Seifer continued to watch her as she settled in beside him, admiring the way that the moonlight made her hair shine. The bright beam reflected off of her eye and in that moment, Seifer knew he'd never seen anything as beautiful as she was. He'd just been oblivious to it their entire lives.

He reached out and ran his gloved fingers through her hair and she turned at his touch, her gaze questioning. His finger looped through the strap of her eyepatch and he lifted it off slowly, the corners of his lips still raised in a smile. She glanced at the patio door and reflexively tried to cover her face but he stopped her, his fingers curling around her wrist.

Casually, he pulled the glove of his right hand off and gently traced the scar that ran from her left eyebrow to below her lash line. When he reached the bottom of it, he cupped her cheek and she closed her other eye, leaning into his palm.

"I have one too, remember?" he said softly, pointing to his face.

Her eye opened again and she smiled once more, her gaze focused on his. This time, she traced along the harsh edges of his scar with her finger, her touch far lighter than his. His skin tingled where her finger lingered and he reached up to grab her hand, intertwining their fingers as he lowered them.

Seifer leaned in then, lazily, and pressed his lips to hers. He could feel the corners of her lips curl up before she began to kiss him back. In the heat of the moment, he couldn't help but wrap his arms around her waist and pull her in, closer to him. He wanted to blur the lines of where he ended and she began. As he deepened the kiss, he cupped the back of her head, his fingers tangled in her hair.

Fujin broke away eventually, gasping slightly for air and he hid his face in the crook of her neck. She giggled quietly and Seifer asked, "What's so funny?"

"WINDOW."

He turned her body so that he could continue to hold her, and look at the patio door at the same time. Matron was in the kitchen, watching them with a fond smile on her face. When she met Seifer's gaze, she nodded slightly and turned away, walking back towards the dining table. Seifer stood up straight again, his hands now on Fujin's shoulders. She tugged slightly on his coat and he looked back down at her, his expression soft and his eyes tender.

"INSIDE?"

He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand and nodded. "Yeah, you go in first. I'll be in soon."

As she walked through the doorway and slid the glass door shut, he watched her figure recede until she sat down at the table again, next to Raijin. He nudged her shoulder with his and she blushed, covering her face with her hands. Seifer chuckled at her shyness and his eyes flitted from his best friends to the people that made up his 'family'. Warmth spread through him, from the center of his being to the very tips of his toes and he realized belatedly, that it was love. He was surrounded by people who cared for him, even after everything he'd done, and he felt his throat close up at the knowledge.

He turned his face upwards, to look at the sky one last time. With the moon's visage filling his vision, surrounded by its ivory glow, he whispered, "I guess I  _am_  home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who might be interested, my next WIP is a Seiftis fic. I've already started working on it and the first chapter will hopefully be uploaded within the next couple of weeks. If you're intrigued, feel free to subscribe so you'll get a notification once I post it :) If you enjoyed The Journey Home, please leave a comment! I love hearing what people thought. Thanks!


End file.
